Thank you -4

Thank You -4

Yesterday, went to the Mount and corrected the translation of the press release on the new organization at the Archdiocese of Ekm.The Cardinal went to the Abp's house  day before yesterday and he is staying there.The news channel began reporting and by 3.30 ,all the channels began to report.The two aux.s are suspended from being aux.s.The Synod is given more involvement.

Welcome and happy news for the Cardinal.He suffered a lot but he remained calm and cool.God bless him.Let there be peace and calm in the hearts of the rebellious priests.

Today, I read in the Gospel the parable of the wedding guests who rejected the invitation to the wedding banquet.In the end, strangers and wayfarers were invited.The one without the wedding garment was thrown out.It is a lession for all of us.What should be our wedding garment?It should be my repentance.I have to keep the spirit of repentance and ask the Lord constanly for forgivness.There is no way I can reorganize the past of my life. The only way open for us and me is to ask the Lord for forgiveness.We are all fallible human beings.There is no one who is perfect.That is why Jesus insists on forgiveness.Whether we are priests or the religiou, we are weak and fragile human beings.We carry in our hearts  the failures and sins of our life.We have to offer them to the Lord.Depend totally on the mercy of Jesus.Live under his blessing and mercy.Trust in him totally.

Lord, thank you for your mercy and love.

June 28-Friday

All the papers came out with the news of the new arrangement at the Ekm diocese.Now the channel discussions on the arrangments made by the Vatican. The rebel priests are becoming active. They have the aud,Bps now on their side.They will make use of their presence.

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Fr.Cyriac Koottummel---his funeral at the Nazreth Church.Went for the funeral mass.I reached the church after the homily. Felt sorry for the passing away of Fr.Koottummel.I did not get much time to talk with him during our lives.I should have spent more time with the preists.Today I saw Fr. Vayalil standing on the side but I did not acknoweldge his presence.If I had waited a few more minutes, I could have recognized a few more priests.There should be a change in my attitudes.My time is also getting shorter.Lord, help me to change myself.I have to feel confident and strong.My confidence comes from my attachment  to Jesus.

July 6-Saturday

At home in Ekm.My catract surgery was on June 29^th.It was over within 20 minutes.I had the laser treat ment and then the insertion of the lens.But then five days of complete rest were prescribed.Stayed at Johnachan and Leelamma house  and Johnachan put drops in my eyes very regularly at the precribed timings. Yesterday, at my visit with the doctor Laksmi,I was told that everything was perect and I could resume my duties freely.I am told to meet the doctor after 15 days around 4p.m.

Thank you Lord, for everything.I can read and see everything –very sharply.The letters look deep dark; earlier it was hazy yellow.

I have no more A to talk to or share my thoughts.It was a passing away that was very sudden.May the Lord protect her and give her eternal joy.Lord, bless her.She was looking forward to eternal bliss with the Lord.I am sure she is enjoying that bliss now.Our sins are very small when they are  compared with the overwhelming mercy of God.

Juy 6^th Saturday

Going to Laikad,Chy for the mass for the Jubilee of Daylu's parents.This morning, I took my bath---first aftr the surgery. Did go for a walk on the roof top.Read the papers without any difficulty.Thank you Lord, for this blessing.Earlier these pages looked yellowish but now they are deep dark.Thank you Lord for the blessing.

Within the last few days, lost many friends,Fr.Chiramel,Fr.Thurthumaly,Fr.Koottummel.All very good people.Of course, with Koottummel, my conversations were very sparse but had a good admiration for him.Lord, we know that your call comes at any time.I have to get prepared for everything.There is no special time.

My time will be spent with the Lord in prayers and reflections.

The room is tidied up.The adjacent room is also cleared.We will put an AC there so that I can invite private vistors to my room.We can have discussions in the adjacent room.

Your mercy has no limits.I have to immerse myself in the ocean of yur love and mercy.Psalms are good in inspirng one to praise the Lord.

July 7,Sunday

Yesterday, I was informed by Manoj that the wife of Prof.SL Thomas passed away and that I should be present at the funeral.He called me this  morning and I told him that I would be coming toorrow for the funeral.I was thinking of going to Kalamasserry tomorrow but will go there later  after the funeral.

I will just speak about the love of Jesus for all of us and about the need to stick with Jesus.There is nothing else to be said.What I have to say is about the love of Jesus.That is all.All kinds of round about speeches are no more needed.Just be plain and simple.Love the Lord with all our heart.Pray to him constantly.Nothing else can give us peace and joy.Whatever I can give to others, I have to give. I have to be strong in the expression of my love or Jesus.

There are statements coming from the Ekm priests and press reviews of their discussions.Lord, thank you for your blessings.

July 8,Monday.

Went to Chy for the funeral.Gave the homily. Returned to Alleppey after meeting Marymma and speaking to Sancta. Went to Thathampally and had lunch at Lizikutty's house.Went to Kalamasserry from there.Met Prof.Philip.He did not say anything about the meeting on the Higher Education meeting.It was Dr.Nanda Gopal who briefed me about it.

Always bad news about the Ekm Archdiocese.People show their aversion.What can be done.There is no forgiveness .All arrogance and hatred.Bringing the Church into shame.

Lord, thank you for giving me the grace to deliver the homily in Malayalam without any problem.

I referred to Billy Graham's comment on the words of the good thief.

Thank you,Lord for giving the gift of my eye-sight.

July 10,wednesday

Yesterday wen to the Mount in the evening for the montly recollection.Fr.Melvettom mentioned Balam and Balak in his reflections.I read this morning the whole chapter in Numbers on Balam's prophecy.

Capt.Cyriac is taking charge of the meeting.It is Ok.I don't have the staff to do the work.He can do it.

I sent Biju to the Insurance office to take the application for reimbursement and gave him a letter of authorization to make changes.

Yesterday, translated a statement of the preists of Ekm at the request of the Cardinal.He looks tired and is at the end of his wits.All the steps that are taken bring negative results.The priests are getting more support because of the actions taken on the Aux.Bps.All are unwarranted steps, highly provocative.

Feel sad for him. Actions are taken very suddently and without a broader thinking.

I will grade the papers of the students today.

July 12,Friday

Will be going to the Mount.Will spend the time reading the document on Education.Will offer all my cooperation for the success of th emeeting.

On 27^th, I have the memorial mass for Fr.Thuruthmaly.

I have to go and come back early.

Nothing else is to be done.Just read the Bible and pray hard and long.The Lord is my life.He has given me life back again through the surgery.I can read and write.What a blessing.

July 13,Saturday

Tomorrow Johnachan and Leelamma are leaving for the States.Santhu had a daugher born two days ago.

God bless them.I am managing with my eyes surgery, with drops applied to my eyes every day.

In today's Gospel meditation, I read the prayer of Jesus at Gethsemany.I have to pray continuously as Jesus has asked the apostles to pray.TheLord has given me all that I need.I have to thank him and offer my heart and soul to him.Lord, thank you for your love.Now I can see everything clearly.

Went to the Mount.Read some parts of the Draft on Education.

Had lunch there.The Cardinal was there.Did not have much interaction.

Went to Johnachan and Leelamma's house. Prayed for their safe journey.God bless them.

I have to spend more time in prayers. I have nothing else to do.Only my Lord is my help.Thank you Jesus for this vision.I have to read the Bible ,pray and praise the Lord.

There was one person with whom I could share my thoughts.Now, she is gone.She was aupposed to live longer because of her family history and health.But everything was over within no time.Lord, bless her.Not a day passed without sharing the events of the day with her.A big vacuum in life.Now , there is no one to talk to.

July 14,Sunday

Spoke to Jogy,Josh and Sajan.All are doing OK.Sajan spoke about the new house  and Deepa spoke about Alka's new friend who is a Marthomite.Paul is very slow about finishing his studies.

I should not be worried about their lives.I have to think of asking for forgiveness in my life.I am the one who is more base.I have fallen into atrocious failures.Lord,have mercy one me.There is nothing I can do.It is beyond any repair.They are my own failures.

I miss A.When she was alive, I could talk to her and share verything with her.Thought life will go on like this for a longr time.But that is changed.It is the same with all.All the famous people have passed away.All the dreams and plans have disapperead with their death.That is true of my life.I have to find my happiness in the Lord.Nothing else can giv eme happiness.In todya's Gospel, in Mark, in response to a man's question with regard to eternal salvation ,Jesus spoke about the need to love the Lord with all one's heart and to love the neighbor as oneself.That is all what I have to think about.Jesus never asked about one's sins.Jesus just forgives them their sins.I have to find strength in the forgivenss of Jesus.He is the one who gives me joy nad peace.A is gone forever.I won't  be able to get her advice or sharing.Nor will it be possible for me to get another person to share my life.With A , my sharing was total.God,  bless her.In the last few days of her life, it was difficult to share.She had more ailments and difficulties.She could share them with me.But all that sharing is over.I have to depend on the Lord.Just pray and praise and leave everything to him.

Monday,July 15

It is raining now.Johnachan left last night for the States. Mathaichan came here in the evening with Allen.

In the Gospel, Jesus is talking to the Samaritan woman about the living water and the village people beleiving in him .He stayed in the village for two days.My Jesus,you are the living water for me.Keep me in your love.

Protect me.Faith in you is enough for the living water to flow into my life.Whatever that prevents the flow of the living water is to be avoided.Strong and ardent faith in Jesus as the Saviour of my life is what creates the flow of the living water.

Worked with Captain to find more resource persons for the conference.

Thank you -8

 Fr. Parampath passed away. He was  a gentle and compassionate priest. He helped my talk at the Smithsonian by sending me a few sung lines in Syriac which I could  reproduce during the power point presentation. He was present at my Kachiramattom award ceremony.He was the Father Prefect while I was the Brother Prefect for second year Philosophy students. God bless him. A very loving and kind person, having no ill-will toward anyone. Always smiling.

Thank you, Lord, for your blessing.Will never allow myself to become diffident and unsteady.Will find my strength in your words.
Will say mass and feel strengthened by the presence of Jesus in my life.

 I am on my way to the airport to leave for the US.Reached the airport by 4.30p.m.. A little bit confused when I did not find the gate open. Later, found the gate and a person guided me to the first gate when I told him that I was looking for the business class. I asked  for wheelchair assistance and the guy guided me smoothly through immigration gates etc and brought me to the lounge. I have taken some snacks and am sitting here. My flight is at 8.40 p.m.and hence I have plenty of time. It is only 6.15p.m. here. Thank you, Lord, for the time given to me. I may take the medicine for the night as I am full.

It was good that I took the laptop with me as it gives me a chance to do some writing and reading. I feel sleepy.

It is 1.30 pm according to the Indian time. I am typing this in the plane.Air India has a full flight even in the Business class but the facilities are not according to the mark.The movie screen in my seat is not working properly.But others are watching.I have tried to say the rosary but always fall asleep.So, I stood up and began reciting.I could finish one whole rosary. I will do that again.I get exercise too. I was telling myself internally that I have no more to be worried.What is important is keeping alive my attachment to the Lord, giving everyone peace and joy through my actions and getting rooted in my love for Jesus which  is the most important thing that I can do in my life. 
 Lord, thank you for your mercy and kindness. I do feel the aftereffects of my cold—the congestion in breathing.I had a puff from the inhaler at Bombay airport. The flight from Kochi to Bombay was OK but then at Bombay, we have to get down from the plane and board a bus to reach the International Gate. There again security check etc. I gave up the wheelchair assistance, thinking that there was not enough time. It is a few more hours for the flight to begin. I took my morning medicine and  insulin injection. I gave the extra insulin package to the air hostess to be put in the fridge.

I read the Gospel on my I pad. It is about being prepared always. For me, it is always trusting in Jesus and going through confessions.Since I have so many sins and failures in my life, my resource for peace is  confession.

What I am thinking now is to spend one week in retreat –at Albany with Josh and Joby. That is something I can do every year—with my nephews.

More acts of charity are needed.

Aug.28, Wednesday

Went to mass early in the morning. Today is the feast of St.Augustine.The priest gave a nice homily on St.Aug.My chest congestion is lessening. Last night I took a puff from the inhaler.

Today I will be ordering a book from the Amazon. Lord, thank you for your blessings. Ordered three books from the Amazon and joined Prime for one week.It costs $1.99.I have to cancel it before Tuesday.It is a one week prime.

The books will be delivered tomorrow.

Aug.29,Thursday

Neil will be coming in the evening.

Lord, help me to become closely attached to you. Thank you for giving me the time to thank you and offer my prayers to you. I am losing more of my friends and relatives. I have to use my time in deepening my love of the Lord. I should use all my time in praising the Lord.

.You gave me whatever I needed in my life.As a priest, you gave me health and blessings to work uninterruptedly in my life.External honors and glory mean nothing.See how they end in smoke in the lives of so many people.The honor and glory that people give disappear with the same speed with which they came.What is important is living rightly before you.There is happiness and joy in your presence.I have to find my joy and peace in spending my time before you,Lord.

I got a message from the  Tata health Group that they have sent the reimbursement into my account.I did not believe it.I just checked my account on the spur of the moment.Lo and behold, I find a deposit of Rs.60,000.I still did not believe that they paid the amount.

Thank you,Lord for your blessings.

Aug.31,Saturday.

Came with Jogy and the children to Santosh's house.Did the baptism.The members who were present were the immediate family. Jogy left in the evening.

Sept.1-Rojmon and the family left on Monday early morning.In the afternoon,Vakachan came to Clarksville to take me to Ittyrachan's house.Went to Joseph's house for his 94^th birth day celebration.Back at the house after it.

Sept.2 Tuesday

Went for the 8am mass at the Mother Seton church. Went for shopping—bought undershirts .Ittyrachan paid for them –including Zyrtec.

We had lunch on the patio.Was interesting and lovely.Bread and fish.

I spent some time in reading.I feel OK by the grace of God.This is the time for me to deepen my prayer life though prayer and adoration.I have to spend my time in reading and preparing notes.I should not be showing any slackening in my effort in understanding the church and defending my faith in the Lord.The Lord is my everything .I have to find joy in Him. I  have to pray hard and ignore all other things.

Lord , help me to deepen my prayer life.

Sept.4,Wednesday

I read in the Gospel of John on  the miracle of Jesus walking on the water and multiplying the bread to feed the multitude of seven thousand.The compassion of the Lord and his words of comfort, don't be afraid , remain with us as we reflect on this passage.My Lord, you are my everything. Thank you for giving me the courage to travel and be with my family and friends.I know I have to use this occasion to pray for them and ask for forgiveness. Yesterday, we went to Costco and bought undershirts and allergy tablets.

Lord, help me to be faithful to you and be close to you.Increase my faith in you.I want nothing except your love and forgiveness.

Vakachan brought me to Livingston by his Tesla car on Friday after 2.30.p.m.

It was a nice ride.The car was a source of surprise as it did many things and moved without the help of the driver.

Saturday-Sept 7^th...Did not do anything.Had barbecue in the evening.

Decided to go to Montreal, to the Shrine of St.Joseph.

Sunday,Sept.8---Went to Albany with Josh as a companion.The mass at the Shrine at Montreal was very impressive.The Cantor was superb.He sang alleluia before the Gospel eight times twice.That was loud, clear and beautiful.The view from the top was also beautiful.Talked to Jiju.

Came back by night after stopping at Albany again.

Tuesday,Sept 10.

Most probably, will be leaving for NY to attend the funeral of Pappachan's son- in- law who passed away in his sleep suddenly.God grant him eternal rest.

I sent yesterday the translation of the circular to the Curia.I have to pray hard.This is the time God has given me for study and prayers.I have to use it well.

Tuesday,New York

Noble came to NJ to give me the  ride to Ny and  I arrived at George and Gracy's house.Staying here for the night.Attended the wake.  Fr.John was there .He was not as hospitable as he used to do.There was a sense of distance and he  did not acknowledge me.Maybe because, I did not keep in touch with him .He might have thought that I was ignoring him. Whatever may be, I don't have any negative feelings towards him.

Tomorrow is the funeral of Jaimy, Binsy's husband. Will proceed to NJ after the funeral.Lord, bless her and give her strength to accept the death of her husband.

Thanks-9

Thanks-9

Sept.11, Wednesday

Yesterday went to NY for the funeral of Jaimy, the husband of Binzi. Noble came here to give me a ride to NY. Stayed at George and Gracy's house near the Church. The whole Cheripuram family was there. Amy,Jose's daughter came to meet me.Today, as I walked into the sacristy,  Fr.John asked whether I could give a short homily. I did not want to refuse the invitation and hence I said I would give, although I did not know anything about Jaimy. I was not getting new ideas. The Lord gave me confidence as the time neared for the mass.I could speak well. A man told me as I walked to the cemetery that it was a great homily and it would be rare in life to listen to such a homily. Lord, thank you for your blessings and I offer you my humble homage. Thank you again for giving me the grace to give a homily that inspired others. I was so unsure and off the track to give a homily but the grace of God worked wonders.

My key ideas:

Prayers and condolences. Words have no power to give comfort but only the words of Jesus—I am the Resurrection and the life...Jesus is our strength. All who are here will pass away. All of us will pass away within the next moment, a year, ten years or twenty, thirty years. Nothing is permanent

Reference to the book, why bad things happen to good people by the Boston Rabbi ,Harold Kushner—His cry to God, why. He was helping all and trying to do good: Why his son was taken from him.

He found an answer in Job's questioning of God—why to me—I don't understand

God's response—Were you there when I laid the foundation of the world?

Jaime’s life---full of life and vigor.

Support for Binzy for her work in  in the world and the church.Conciliatory, Active, the energetic, full involvement with children.

Memories crowd into our minds

the pain for the children, when they graduate, succeed, getting achievements, in times of failures

But Jamy['s father, our Father Jesus , will be there. He will carry them in his hands.No thorns will touch them. He will give confidence and strength.

The shortness or longevity is not ours. But we can use the time we get well. We can transform our lives and the lives of others within the time given to us. Jamie did it.

Thank God for giving us the experience of knowing him , knowing his love and his interactions.

God bless you

Saturday, Sept.14. Feast of the Triumph of the Cross

Went to St.Joan of Arc church at Niles, run by the Benedictine monks.The priest spoke about the crosses in our lives. We have to experience losses in order to appreciate the victory of the cross-- he preached. Had a heavy breakfast at a Cafe.

Will do some reading.Today is the blessing of the house.

September 15, Sunday

This morning I went to the Cathedral to say the 9.30 am mass.

When I came to the altar,I found the passage in the Bible different. But I was able to give a sermon. Mentioned the Missionary of the Wall Street.

People came and said that the sermon was good. Thank you, Lord for blessing me to give a good homily. George Maliekal and Vince Marin were present for the mass.

Monday--

Last night stayed with Fr.Antony at his house.Did get some time for sharing.Said mass there in their private chapel and had breakfast at IHOPE.He lives in Glenview. Dropped me at Sajan's house. In the evening, Bobby came to take me to his apartment in Naperville for dinner—Seena, Irene and Ria. He dropped me here around 9.30p.m.

Sept 17, Tuesday:

Went to St.James for the 8am morning mass. Georgekutty Vacha will be coming here to pick me up for lunch.

I was reading the book.The glory of the Crusades by Steve Weidenkopf, a professor of history at Christendom College. It is a very readable book and gives the background information on the politics of the day and it exposes the negative image of the Crusades that was spread by the Protestant historians whose Anti-Catholic prejudices colored their historical perspectives. It is their prejudiced view that became the lens through which the modern world views the crusades, ignoring the political climate of the times that came out of Moslem invasions of the Holy Land and other Christian nations.

Lord, increase my love of Thee. Make me an ardent defender of your message. I should not allow myself to be overwhelmed by my failures. I should  use all the opportunities available to spread the message of the Lord.
Georgekutty, Joy and Jaya were at lunch at the Angelo's.In the evening, Dr.Enas took me out for dinner at Papadoux.Dr.Cherian and Paul Kidangan joined us there. Tuesday was a busy day.
Today, Sept.18th Wednesday is relaxing as I have no engagements.

Fr.Joseph Thurtuthumaly

The demise of Fr.Thuruthumaly was another sudden shock. I was keeping in touch with him almost every other week. We would share a lot of ideas about the Church. He was the one I hoped that I could share my views, feelings, and ideas. It is an unbelievable separation.I have to accept that it is a way of life. One day, without warning, we have to depart from this world. What we hold as permanent has no permanency. We have to prepare ourselves for that event in our life. Death is our constant companion. We have to  keep closely in touch with the Lord. The Lord alone can give peace in our lives.
Just a few days before leaving for the US , there was the celebration of the 41st day -memorial of his passing away at the Arpookara church .I was present for the mass and  was asked whether I could give a short homily at the mass.I consented readily to give the homily as it would be a great chance for me to pay homage to his memory and also to offer my admiration and appreciation of his life. It was an occasion for me to express my love and regard for him.
His absence  left a big void in my heart and I have no one  else to share those feelings.May God give him eternal rest.He led a worthy and dignified life.

Fr.Jose Chiramel

It was a real shock for me when I received the news about the sad demise of Josachan. I knew that the disease was serious and something bad would happen. But I thought he would recover and resume some of the activities in a light way. But it is so sad that he had to depart very fast. I cannot get over the loss. He was a very talented priest. He wanted everything to be done properly and in a dignified manner. He is a model for others to follow. God bless him.
We often had very frank and open discussions. He could follow what  I was sharing with him. Although he was much junior in age, he has a mature understanding of the Church and could make a good critical appraisal of the policies of the authorities without in anyway sowing seeds of dispute. He was very inspirational. It was his example that has prompted me to prepare homilies whenever I was invited for a function. One should always be ready to give a homily when one is requested on the spur of the moment by the host. He was a good reader and prepared homilies carefully. He was brief and precise which is rarely shown by many of the Malayalee priests who are in the habit of giving long sermons.

Henri Nouwen about his mother

The following words of Henri Nouwen are very touching.They speak about the feelings he has at the loss of his mother.When his mother was alive she wanted to share everything that is good with him, especially in the Spring when nature comes out in full blooms.Everyone who has experienced the loss of his mother would have the same feelings.

 

"When I see the rich soil, I thought of mother being buried in similar soil a few moths ago. and a strange feeling welled up within the experience of beauty.I can no longer tell her about what I saw, nor can I write her about the next spring...."(Prayers from the Genesee: A Cry for Mercy."p.68.

I have the same feelings about my parents. so many things happened in my life after their demise.An emptiness arises in my heart when I find that I cannot share all those things that happened in my life with them.

 

Leadership Camp

Leadership Camp

I am happy that the camp was over by last Saturday. It was a hectic time as I had to stay at XIME campus for the whole month .I had to be here to say the mass for the students in the morning.It has to be said to the credit of the students that they participated in the mass and in the class very well. I had to engage them daily in their classes on English.I also gave a class on the History of the Catholic Church.They had the opportunity of being engaged by some of the leaders of the State in different fields. By the time the course was over, we found them to be confident and outspoken.They were given practical training in delivering speeches, writing essays and journals and organizing various events.