Thank you-15

Dec.17

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my ordination. I will go to the Mount in the morning to say the mass in the chapel and come home for lunch. All the members of the family would be coming for lunch.

A time to thank the Lord for his blessings. I have to remember all the members of my family in my mass tomorrow. So too I have to remember all my friends and relatives who passed away. I too will be joining them one day. Time is running out for me. Some of my friends who were ordained with me have already left their abode here for heaven. My time too will come soon. I have to prepare myself for my eternal life.My confidence comes from the words of the Lord that he would not abandon anyone who acknowledges him. Also, he has told several times to forgive one another without any limits. That means He will also forgive us. Our sins are laid at his feet to be washed by him. Sheen has written once that once we have confessed and received forgiveness, we should not get worried about our sins. Jesus has already forgiven us.

Lord, thank you for everything you have given me.I can read and write and still use my talents and resources in praising and adoring you.

Dec.18, Wednesday

I had a call from Fr.Vincent about having a common lunch today at the Mount. Since I have already made arrangements for the family to come for lunch, he changed the plan and asked me to come at 10.30 am. I agreed and reached thereby 10.15 am. All gathered for a coffee break and we had a common cake cutting ceremony. Curia Bp offered greetings. After that, I went up to say mass and then returned by 12 noon. When I reached home, all were there. Liju and the children were also there.It was a good gathering.

Thank you Lord for this day .I have to be more prayerful and holy.Fr.Alumparampil called to offer his greetings. Fr.Kottaram called and we spoke for a few minutes.

One more anniversary is over.

Dec.19,Thursday

The 52^nd anniversary is over.God has given me a new year to renew myself, to imbibe the spirit of the Gospel totally into my life.This will be an opportunity to say my masses with great devotion and attention.There should be no occasion for getting angry with people or show my irritation.

Today in the Gospel, the passage that I read was about Jesus curing the illness of Peter's mother-in-law and of the leper.The Leper tells Jesus to heal him and Jesus lays his hand over him and cures him.I should ask the Lord everyday to lay his hand over me and to heal me.

Lord, I place myself totally before you.Be with me all the time.Be my strength. Transform me. Heal me.

Lord, all the friends you gave me are all with you.there is nobody with whom I can talk and discuss my views on persons and things.I offer that loneliness to you.The loss of A was a terrible loss.She was my English teacher too!I am also reaching the end of my tether.I have to find my solace and comfort in the Lord.

On friday,Dec.20th—went to Anakara via Kumily to say an office for the dead for Sr.Mercykutty's mother who passed away two days ago.It was a tiring jouney but we made it and returned that night itself , reaching Ekm around 3 am!

Sunday Dec.22—Staying at home and spent time watching the news.

Dec.23,Monday

I am at the Mount , watching the news of the election results of Jharkhand.BJP is losing and the Congress alliance is winning.The hubris of BJP is smashed.For a week, huge demonstrations against the Bill on citizenship have been going on and they challenged the pride and boastfulness of BJP. They were trying to attain their ideological ends by hook or by  crook.

I just sent through Biju cakes for the members of my family here in EKM.I have not done anything like that recently.These are the days when I should be praying more.Nothing else is important.for me, all positions and promotions are no more important.Jesus alone is enough.

Today, in my meditation on the Gospel, I read the passage on the healing of the centurion's slave and sending a message to John the Baptist: Jesus is healing and comforting all.I have to attach myself to Jesus .He is my strength.I have to be silent,private and unobtrusive.I have to do gracefully whatever I have to do in life.

Thank you Lord for your love

Dec.25,Wednesday

Christmas.Said mass at the Mount on Dec.24^th at 11am.They wanted me to be the main celebrant. Fr. Kavilpurayidom sang for the mass.I gave the homily.Brief.The sisters expressed their appreciation of the homily.Thank you Lord for giving me the blessings to give a good and short homily.My main points:

Greatest love story, Jn 3,16.Emmanuel.Chesterton's words: those who are on the top of the hill see everything as small while for for those in the valleys, everything is big. Appreicate all. Havard Prof.'s words—not the money but the enrichment of the lives of the people who live with us.BBC news reporter visiting the Santa at his house in Finland, asking for his message.His reply : Be nice to people at least for a day.

As a whole everything went well.Thank you Lord, for this opportunity.

Came home.Had a nice lunch. Biji and the children are here.

Lord, thank you for this day to remember your birth and life.By the grace of God, everything went smoothly.I felt happy in having got the chance to say the mass and to give the homily.God helped me to have a good voice while giving the homily.

In the morning for the breakfast , all were seated close by.

Prof.Philip called this evening and asked whether it would be possible to have a meeting at 10 am on Dec.27^th.

Dec.26,Thursday

Did not do much.Started reading the book on the missionary work in NY. At the Mount now.I have to depend totally on Jesus.

Dec.27,Friday

Lord, thank you for this day.Read the Gospel Lk Ch.7 on love and forgiveness.The woman anointing the feet of Jesus with her tears and perfume , receiving the forgiveness of Jesus.That incident is enough to feel peace in one's heart.Whatever my be our sins, our tears of repentance will be accepted by Jesus and our sins, our failures, our lapses will be forgiven.Lord, thank you for your blessings.I should not think of my sins and imperfections any more.I have to think in what way I can spread the love of Jesus and be a good person.

Today, -- will be going to the Xime and may go to the Mount for lunch.

Spent the day at the Xime.Had a meeting with Prof.Philip at 10 am.It was a discussion on the starting of the coaching centre.I told him to appoint Abraham Kurien with a good remuneration . Was reluctant to commit himself to the offer I suggested saying that it is too high.

Introduced the topic of administrative changes.He and Kuncheria are firm on their

decision saying that it is the right of the management.They did not realize the harm that they had inflicted on the present staff.

Well, let it go as they have decided.They have fallen under the influence of VOS who has convinced them of his influence in Trichur Archdiocese!

Dec. 28^th,Saturday

Did begin writing on Cardinal Newman.Met the Cardinal at lunch.His trip to Calcutta went OK.Planted the lemon sapling.

Had a talk with K.A. Georgekutty.

Dec.31, Tuesday.

It is now 8.30.p.m.The end of the year and within a couple of hours , all will be getting ready for the New Year.I was at XIME the whole day and went to the Mount after 4p.m. I could not meet any of the fathers.All have left for different functions.Spent some time in the chapel, thanking the Lord for the blessings given to me.Lost some of my good friends—Prof.KTS, Fr.Thurthumaly, Fr.Kazhukachaly and Fr.Jose Chiramel.The loss is very deep.They were the people with whom I did engage in conversations. Kazhukachaly used to call me every other week.If I did not hear from  him, I would give him a call.All those contacts were gone.Last year's losses were also very severe.Loss of Fr.Mepreth and A. A was a great pillar of support with whom I could share everything , my ups and downs  in  life.She is gone for ever.Never will I get anyone replacing her.All my thoughts now remain with me.I now think more of Josy too.She was also a person I could share some of my thoughts. Only memories and mental pictures remain with me.They constantly come to my mind.God bless them and give them His eternal joy.I am sure the Lord will bless all those who believe in him.That is what He has said in the Gospel.Our sins and failures would be forgiven.Our faith is the most important thing in life.Jesus himself has said: the one who has not committed a sin may throw the first stone.That shows that everyone is a sinner.So we know that Jesus will forgive our sins.Lord have mercy on me and forgive my sins.

Jan.1,Wednesday,2020.New Year

Lord, thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience this New Year.Let me be useful to you.Let me be your instrument to carry your love and compassion.When I convey the compassion and mercy of Jesus, I am also healed.God's mercy flowing through me will wipe away all the stains of my sins.Why should I feel ashamed of my sins? I am an ordinary ,frail human being , liable always to weaknesses and failures.I have to depend on Jesus for my strength and happiness.That is why he told us to be attached to him like a branch to the vine plant.My strength comes from him.The sap of his grace flowing through me does give me life.O Lord, allow your life to flow through me.

Today in the Gospel, read about the multiplication of the loaves in
Ch.9 of Lk.In my life, I have to  multiply the gifts God has given me.My daily life should be a series of occasions of multiplying the mercy and compassion of Jesus.

Today, will be going to Xime and in the evening will go to the Mount.

2.30p.m.

I said mass at Xime and prayed to the Lord for his grace to guide me through the year.

All the ministerial staff came and wished me a happy new year.

Called Alumparampil,Kottaram and Joychan and wished them a happy new year. It looks like it would be difficult to leave at night after the meeting on IAS training because of the Moslem rallies at Marine Drive.I may have to stay here for the night as there is a meeting tomorrow at 9 am for the staff of St.Thomas College. I have to be present for the meeting and then will leave around lunch time for the Mount.

8pm

I am staying at my room at XIME. The discussion was good.Since I contacted Abraham Kurian about his willingness to take up the assignment,it dispelled their anxiety with regard to his willingness to take up the post.I was thus more involved in the discussions.Dr.E.M.Thomas' presence was also very helpful. They brought dinner.

Thank you Lord for your blessings. Bp.Tony was also present.

Jan.3,Friday

Yesterday, gave the inaugural speech for St.Thomas staff meeting. They appear to be a very docile staff.

Abp.Andrews Thazhath came in the afternoon. Attended the talk by Sebastian VO.He was giving a nice talk on salesmanship—clear and articulate.

Prof.Philip wanted the resume of EM Thomas.Got it from him and gave it to Dima to give to the President.

Biju  went and  got the fast tag from the Federal Bank.Gave Rs 600.He took Rs.100 for petrol, gave them 400. They have a commission for 200.I deposited later Rs.500 from my Credit card to their Fast tag Recharge Account.

The meeting continues today. They have a priests' meeting today.I may stay there for the night.

Meditation on Transfiguration.I have to pray hard for s spiritual transfiguration in my life.Lord, I offer this new year for you.Make me an instrument of your love.Help me to deepen my repentance and my love for you.