Thank you, 25

 Thank you-25

Aug. 3,Monday,2020
Today I started working on the Gospel readings. Even if I don't complete this before my birthday, I will work on it for a few months so that I can finish it before my next birthday.I will have something to do now.
I will work on this tonight and stop watching TV news.Mercy's case was handled by the doctor at Lourdes and all are feeling a sigh of relief.Thank you Lord for your mercy.
Frank's funeral took place last Friday in the U.S. Donna sent me an email detialing the last days of his life. he was taken to Dona's house after the death of their mother. He was paralysed from a motor bike accident. I will have to write to Donna.
August 6

Today I decided to spend a day in adoration in reparation for my sins. I will continue that every day.God has given me the opportunity to be here at the Mount  and the adoration is held  here. So I can spend my time without any additional effort for adoration.
Marymma has asked for some help and I am planning to send a cheque to Thomaskutty so that he can give it to her.
On Face Book, an exercise to strengthen lungs—5 deep breaths and after the sixth breath, cough and bend down for a few minutes—twice in the morning and twice at night. It is raining hard now , with storms.
There is no current here at this time—10.30pm.
Attended the  4.30pm the webinar of Xime with Manorama for half an hour and then went for  a haircut with Joshy.It has been a long  time since I stayed   at the Mount for such a long period. This  is because of the initiative of the Cardinal.He has insisted on my stay here.So it has given me a silent identity.I am made part of the community when I have no official role.Thank you ,Lord for your love and generosity.
Today I spent an hour before the Bl.Sacrament.I will do that everyday as a reparation for my sins.Lord, thank you for giving me this inspired thought.Even with no current, I can do some work on the computer!
Aug.9,Sunday
Today I said the mass and gave the homily. Fr.Muttamthottyil sang for the mass.All sisters expressed their appreciation individually.I thank the Lord for blessing me to give a short homily without any difficulty.
Today in the Deepika supplement there was an article on Thomas Thannikal and his research.He mentioned my name as one of his mentors. He and Benzy called me from LA.
There was a call from the Major Abp.He said he would include me in the e-news letter.Also he told Palakappally to include me  in all the POC meetings on Education.
All positive happenings today.
August 12,Wednesday
Tony is going ahead with preparing materials for the book to be published on my 80th birthday.Just a small booklet.
Today I sent an article to the Deepika on the new educational  policy.Called Jose Andrews and he said that he got my article.It will be published in a couple of days.He shared the pitiful state of affairs of the journalists at the Deepika.Thank you Lord, for giving me the confidence to write.
Aug.13,Thursday
Saw Fr.Puthiyadom here .He came to my room and shared the happenings taking place.Siby came here for a recommendation letter. Shared some of the rumors going around here.Will be going to Ekm for a short break and will be returning in the evening.
Aug.15,Saturday. Independence Day and the  Assumption.
My article came in the Deepika yesterday. Dr.E.M.Thomas called to offer his congratulations.Today, we had a common mass and flag hoisting.Cardinal asked me to give a short message.I referred to Nehru's speech—Tryst with Destiny.I felt happy at the publication of the article. I was able to put across my ideas on the new Educational policy.Today , just a quiet day. Will do some reading.
Aug.22,Saturday
It is one am.I am not getting any sleep and hence I am awake.I thought of typing out some of my reflections.It has been a long time since I used the computer.This morning,I will be offering my birthday mass-80th.The short booklet prepared by Tony and the Jeevan  Press got good comments from people in the US.Last night, I had a call from Fr. Thundathil and he mentioned that the booklet was very beautiful.Thank you,Lord.I have to spend more time with the Lord.That is the only thing I can do in my life.I should not waste any moment.I have to use all my available time to spread the love of Jesus.O,Jesus has been so good to me and he supported me and blessed me in all the difficult moments of my life.He forgave my sins.What He wants from me is to make His love known to people.
Aug.23,Sunday.
Yesterday said the mass in the morning. Abp. Kariyil gave a beautiful homily and mentioned my years at the college.The bouquet brought by Davis was given to me in the morning. There was a plethora of phone calls, non-stop as if the phone was thrown off the hook.The Deepika and the Manorama carried the reports.Manorama had a colour picture of mine.Sijo and Tony were behind this publicity. In the evening, at dinner, the Cardinal gave his talk, more on spirituality and intellectual charity.Spoke very elaborately.Did not mention my time at Chy.
I gave a short speech, starting with my going for seminary admission and meeting the Abp., and about the need to love all.Mentioned the incident buying the Cassette Recorder for   a priest  at the college and the consequent  change that was brought in him.Spoke of my father's influence,Kavukattu pithavu sending me for higher studie etcs.Quoted Keats.Balthazar's words, the need to maximize one's potentials.
Thank you Lord for the beautiful day.I never thought I would be able to celebrate it.
Aug 24,Monday
Yesterday too, received many calls because of the Manorama report.I am deeply thankful  to the Lord for His blessings and making the day a blessed one, with no untoward event.Thank you,Lord.
Aug.25,Tuesday
A few more calls from Annamma, Lillykutty and Xime staff.Did not do much reading. Tony did the publicity.He gave the report to Manorma ,Kottayam edition and it excited the alumni to get in touch with me.Thank God , it was over.I thought this would pass away silently because of the Covid.It got a good coverage.I am not worthy of it.So I have to be more attached to the Lord.My readings are poor these days.I have to start reading books.
Since I published my note on Priesthood in the booklet, the urge to write the homilies and to publish it has ceased.

There is a seating change in the Dining room.
Thank God, the 80th birthday was solemnly celebrated even without people. My family did not also get involved.Tony did a good job by mentioning the date first  and then preparing the booklet as  an editor.y.Write-ups by Santimon,etc came in the news.Sabu Jose spread the write up by Santimon.Thank You Lord for your love and kindness.I have to start reading spiritual books from tomorrow onward.
Aug.28,Friday.
Today when I went for the morning mass, Fr.Pittappilly told me about the quarantine for Fr.Kavil... because of his participation in a meeting at Muvattupuzha. Padamukal church is closed.Davis and the family in quarantine.
Today, I am mailing some of the booklets to the Bishops and to the colleges.
God has given me a wonderful opportunity to thank him. I have to use the time in praising Him.Will not waste my time.

I never thought I would be able to celebrate the 80th.By accident , it all occurred nicely.

Aug.29,Saturday:
Today is the feast of St. Euphrasia.Yesterday,Bp.Rajendran was here. I have not done anything specially.But I will use these days to prepare the address lists of Changnacherry priests and mail the booklets to them.At least it carries some thoughts on priesthood. Someone will read these.I cannot stop reading.I have to read and write.I will continue with the history of the Church and of the Crusades.Also will focus on the contribution of the Church to Science.
The consoling thing for A was that she did not trouble anybody because of her sickness.Within no time , her life was over.She was such an active person and never had any serious health problems.She had answers for everything.She was a source of support and strength.God bless her.

Aug.31,Monday.Onam.Today was Onam.I spent the day here and had Onam lunch with the priests here. I ate more rice and had two cups of payasaam.Went to Ekm to meet Kochayan and on the way back stopped at Josy's house. Didn't take much for supper except for a few curries.
Sept.5,Saturday
Yesterday went to Ekm.Had a haircut.Stopped to have a chat at home.Sajan called last night with regard to Alka's wedding.Sept.24th is her wedding.The preparations are all being made. Bp.Joy Alappat was invited to bless the marriage.
I am not doing much reading. I wrote a letter to Jancy and she replied with a Guru Vandanam as today is Teacher's Day.
Today's reading from the Gospel is Jesus' call to Mathew to follow him .Mathew readily followed him, giving up his job.Jesus eats with Mathew's friends who are considered sinners and tax collectors.
Sept.6,Elia,Moses-Sleeva liturgical season:
Lk ch.18—speaks of the blind man's cry and Jesus gives him the sight.I have to ask Jesus to give me the gift of strong attachment to Him and to control my desires.Lord, be with me.Heal me—Sana me.
Sept.14,Monday;
The beginning of the retreat after Lelia today.Fr.Mathew  Kakkattupillil VC  talking about the fatherhood of God, beginning his talk based on the creation account in the Bible.The mike and the tapering of his voice at the end of the sentence make it difficult to follow him totally. There is a lack of clear coherence in the development of his ideas. But it is OK. I have to spend more time thinking of the Fatherhood of God.
Today , I read in the You tube accounts of the talk of Pope Francis on confession.He says God forgets our sins after we make the confession.He really makes the sinner feel at peace in his heart.
He also says, if you can't find a priest, confess your sins to God.Very comforting are the words of the Pope on confession.
Today , there was some repair of the leak from the  bathtub's sides and hence the plumber was working in my room.After lunch, I went to Ekm and on the way gave my small phone to Biju to have its battery changed.The new battery costs Rs.2700.It was charged on my credit card.6 month's warranty.the Apple store is on SA Road near Vyttila.

 Sent a video message to Maria for Alka's wedding.
It is 11.30 pm and I don't feel sleepy because of the tapioca I have eaten at the supper.Tomorrow there is a con-celebration with the Cardinal.
Sept.15,Tuesday
First Talk at 9 a.m—mentions the ark of the covenant for the success of the Israelites.
We have to carry the ark of the covenant with us- Jesus , our Lord, his love.
Second talk—the prophet Elia who stole the glory of God.His sons lost the ark of the covenant.We have to have the zeal to preach the message of Jesus Christ.
I was feeling sleepy in the first talk.Usually I get sleepy in the morning.For the second talk, I changed my place towards the end of the bench so that I would not be  a cause for disturbance.
3p.m. Talk by the preacher  based on the Acts of the Apostles,ch.4.
The action of the Holy Spirit.Involves new births –new beginnings.Never be satisfied with the status quo.Be concerned about our mission---to spread the Word of God.
Aaron's rod is a rod of miracles, of creativity.
We had  adoration in the evening, then Lelia and night rest.
I tried to call George Vacha in the morning but did not get him.He called me later but I was in the chapel. I called him after my return but he was not there. Will try later.
I have to try to read the Bible , more spiritual books and make a deep change in my life.I still have my mission of making Jesus known and hence I should not rest on my thoughts that my time is over. No. Nothing is over .I have to work for Jesus until the last moment.I should not be thinking that there is nothing more to be done.I have to work for Jesus.That is the only way I can conquer my weaknesses and sins.I have to show that I love Jesus.So this is my resolution from the retreat---to work more, to read more .I should never be satisfied with the status quo.
Sept.16
morning talk—rival loyalty. Saul falling on the sword and dying.Double loyalty.
We should not be having this double loyalty.
Second talk...Samson and Delila...one weakness –Our weakness  affects our mission.
David and Uria. David is in serious sin.We too fall into situations like that. There are forces outside who are trying to destroy the Church.
Fallen people have become great saints.God is with them.We have to get up. I have to free myself from all the sinful passions.
Sin is part of our culture.It is easy to fall. We have to get up.
Third Talk—John's Gospel..Jesus asking Simon whether he loves him...
Building bonds, relationships, Love.
Sept.17,Thursday:
morning talk---have the manna with you just like the Israelites carried it in your Ark.
Our Manna—our God-experience—God intervening in our life which has become a saving moment for us.
For me, it has always been the way God saved me from very trying moments.
The permanent resident visa, the Car accident,  attaining important  positions, Ph.D.,Principal.VG etc.so many blessings to be thankful for.
God has protected me from my weak moments.I have to be eternally thankful.There is nothing more I need in my life. I have to live for Jesus in joy and peace and be satisfied with what I have and what I have received in life.
Had a confession.
Sept.18,FridayThe retreat was over by noon,Two morning talks on the seven last words of Jesus.Then, Adoration.
Fr.Joji offered the vote of thanks.
I gave  My books and the leaflets to Fr.Mathew.He said he had heard a lot about me.I congratulated him on his talks—on his method and his wide reading.
The retreat turned out to be good.

Sept.20,Sunday
A quiet day.The rain stopped now.I had a long conversation with George Sebastian Vempeny.After his talk was over, Dr.Joyson, diabetologist from Lourdes Hospital called at the suggestion of Vempeny.He was at the Sahrudaya Hostel, a classmate of Binu.He approved all the medicines that I am taking now.
He lives at Elamakara.Bp.Kallarackal has been his patient for the last 8 years.
Although I thought of spending more time in reading, the phone conversations took all the time in the morning.Will use the time to read the Bible in the afternoon.I should continue my reading and writing on spiritual topics.My aim now is to spread the word of the Lord.The Lord  was gracious to me.  He gave me time to change the course of my life and to be close to him.Thank you Lord.

Thank you,24

 Thank you-24

Friday,July 17th
How soon the days pass.I am here at Ekm.I am not doing much.I read parts of George Wiegel's book and of Tipping Point.Could not do much of the sermon plans.Maybe morning time is good for writing sermons.I will begin it from today on wards. Because of the Covid, everything is at a standstill. As for older people, it is safe to be home and to be doing nothing. Lord, have mercy on me and help me to be close to you.
Yesterday, bought a coffee maker that makes warm water.

I am going for a short walk.
The Oriental insurance would send a scanned copy of the check to Bangalore.It would take a week for the reimbursement.Did not contact the Tata insurance. Will do it on Monday.
I will start writing an article on Cardinal Newman soon.Will finish it by the coming two days.Plan to go to the Mount on Monday.
Had a short walk on the balcony.I haven't done much today.
July 18,Saturday
Today too not much was done although I thought I could write a few sermon notes.Will try again.That is the goal I have before me.I don't think I would be able to publish this before August as it is already late in July.Maybe I should think of this for  August,21.

Prof.Joy Kattampally passed away.I got the first information from Cyril's face book post.Talked to his wife (Rosamma Joseph)in the afternoon.She said that he had passed away yesterday by 4p.m.He was slowly dying , each organ failing.Hospitals could not do anything.He was very respectful and had  a very joyful appearance whenever I met him.He was present at all the functions where I was present.God bless him.
Jesus, thank you for your blessings.I offer my life to you.You are the joy of my life.
Talked to Fr.Viruppel.
July 19,Sunday
Thank you Lord for this day. I will spend today more in prayer.I have to spend my  time in prayers and penance.In the Gospel of Luke,Ch.13, Jesus speaks about the need for prayers and penance , referring to the death of 18 Galileans. All are asked to be ready everyday through repentance.Then our death would not be untimely.

O Lord, give me the grace to express total repentance. My days are numbered.I have to get ready through my repentance and penance.I have to depend on the mercy of the Lord.
July 20,Monday
How soon the  days pass by. Today I will be leaving for the Mount and will stay there for a few days.The Cardinal has invited me several times to stay over there. It is another opportunity for me to spend my time in prayer.I have to renew the Airtel today just to keep the second phone working.I have to  go for a short walk and then get packing for the trip to the Mount.Last evening.Ajoy came here.
I have not noted down the date of my airtell connection.Most probably it happened on my return from the Mount.I did that because my phone was found overheated.Now, it is normal after I kept it non-working for a few minutes and deleted many apps.
This morning, I came to the Mount and met a few fathers and they were found very welcoming. I said mass at 12 noon and was present for lunch.The seat was awkward as I was face to face with the priest and I have to turn  sideways always if I want to talk.Tomorrow morning, I am going to change my position by taking a seat at the back in the center. Even though I would be far off,it does not matter as I don't have  to turn my head always.I can avoid unnecessary comments.Lord, help me to stand by the decision.I was invited by the Cardinal so many times and so I thought of coming. I should not express any feelings of unpleasantness.Just accept it.It will always be good for me.I don't need any position any more.I have to praise my Lord.That is all. I am given a room and that is enough for me.The Cardinal was very warm towards me. I will stay here as long as it is possible.I am at the edge of my life and anything can happen at any time.So many young people have lost their lives.I have to be thankful to the Lord and use my time to praise the Lord.
I don't know why I lost my sleep and here I am sitting in my chair and typing.It is one a.m. and still my eyes are open.Lord, have mercy on me.Help me to praise you.Still my eyes are open.I ate some pieces of rusk and a few tea spoonfuls of mixture.I think I was hungry too.I have to eat more vegetables.
Lord, let me praise you and adore you.Increase my love for you.Help me to feel unimportant.I have done whatever I could.I did study, took my degrees from different universities, taught in different places and had important assignments in my life.That is enough for me.I shall not crave for crumbs of position.
July 21,Tuesday
 I told the Cardinal that I would be sitting in the back.But then other fathers spoke of the need for rearranging the seat so that all can be seated together. Fr.Kallingal said  that Fr.G and Fr.J should be sitting in the front.So the Cardinal asked for a new seating arrangement.The problem is solved.Thank you Lord.
Today I have to give the recollection points. I am thinking of speaking in a conversational style in Malayalam.Let me see how it goes.Will pray hard for a successful talk.
July 22,Wednesday
I had a full night sleep.I don't know what caused the previous night's lack of sleep.
The talk last night went OK .I felt free in talking in Malayalam and English.Read the Gospel passage, Jn 8, on the woman caught in adultery. Presence of the mike was  very helpful.Referred to Meena's remark  and with that came to the passage.Spoke about the need for courtesy.Gave some examples.Also on the importance of the Eucharist in our lives.Sacraments do not give us any authority.We are servants of the Lord.There was an expression of appreciation from the priests. Thank you Lord,  for your blessing and help during the time of the talk.
This morning, joined the concelebration with Fr.Abraham. Went to the chapel but was sleepy .So came away.Will go in the afternoon for more time for prayer.I have to use my time for more prayers.That is the thing that I have to do in my life.
July 24,Friday
Thank you Jesus, for another day to praise you and adore you.I felt consoled by your words that you would acknowledge the  one before the Father who acknowledges you.Those words give me a lot of comfort and strength.(Lk.12.12). My sins and failures would be forgiven by the Lord is the reason for peace in my life.
Today ,had the mass with Fr.Abrham.Today is the feast of Mar Jacob of Nisbis.
Yesterday went to Ekm to get the pass book of the Oriental bank as the Good health insurance company wants the pass book of the bank through which one got the insurance for reimbursement.
This Sunday is the anniversary of Achayan.Will go to Leelamma's for lunch and then go to Ekm and return on Monday morning—that is the plan.
Today is the feast of Mar Jacob of Nisbis, one of the important Oriental saints.
I read in the book on How Christianity saved the Western civilization that it was Constantine who made the weekends free for laborers out of respect for man's right consequent upon his Christian conversion.
July 26,Sunday
Today is Achayan's anniversary.Said mass privately.Wrote a short note on Madathiparampil whatsapp. Mathaichan published a picture of Achayan.In fact, I was hoping that some one would do it. Had a quiet day. Nothing is to be done.I have to spend my time in prayers.The whole week is containment week as the gate is cordoned off. No movement from inside or outside.
Jesus, thank you for the time given to me.People welcome me to stay here.This is the first time, I have been living here continuously.
July 28,Tuesday
Today I received an email from Donna informing me about the passing away of Frank at their house on Saturday ,July 25th. I sent a note of deep sorrow, condolence and prayers.I got a reply from Donna telling me that on his last day, all his closest friends came to see him and he recognized them. He told Nina who gave him her kidney five years ago that he was ready to go.She thanks me for my offer of saying masses for him.Also wants me to say masses for his mom and Dad.I will definitely say masses for them too.That is all I can do for them.

July 31,Friday

How soon the days pass.I think I won't be able to get the book published as I was not focusing on that these days.I will try from today on wards and see what can be done. My 80th year is coming.It is a time of gratitude to God, a time to experience the joy of my faith and to convey it to others.I should not allow anything to trouble me.I should be firm, solid in my experience of faith.I have put my trust in the words of the Lord.He forgives us when we ask for forgiveness.I feel always guilt-ridden on account of my failures.But I have to allow the Lord to wash me clean and experience the joy of my intimacy with him.These two days should be specially devoted to that.
I did not do any thing specially yesterday.

Thank You, 23

 June 2nd, Tuesday.
Nothing was done today. The news that Diana got the job made me happy.
Now I am going for prayers .
Today's Gospel was Mt.29-34 where Jesus was requested by the two blind men asking him to have mercy on them.They called him :"Jesus ,Son of David ,have mercy on us.”To His question what they wanted , they replied that their eye-sight should be restored.They were given their eye-sight.This prayer of the blind men should become our daily prayer.We should be asking Jesus to cure us all the time in our lives and to wipe away the guilt of our sins.This cry of the blind and their words would definitely give me peace in my life.My Jesus will restore my spiritual sanity and will forgive my sins.

Lord, have mercy on me. I need the touch of Jesus for my purification.
June 5,Friday
On June 3rd,I went to Giridhar for the tests for the surgery.I had blood test, ECG and Bl.pressure. I forgot to take the medicine for Pressure and hence my pressure was on the borderline. We returned around 4p.m.The insurance did not work and hence I would have to pay the whole and then ask for reimbursement.
I have to take blood test  and  chest xray. Will go to Jonachan's house after lunch.
Today-June 5—Had breakfast with the fathers. I am getting ready to leave in the evening for Ekm. 

I am here at Ekm now. Had supper here.Tomorrow going for blood test and Xray.
June 6th ,Saturday
Went for the blood test and Xray at High Tech,Palarivattom. Had it done fast.Very helpful were people there.Got the results around noon.
On Monday at 8.30 ,I have to reach there for the surgery.No bath on that day.No low aspirin three days before and three days after.I have to take the sugar level  and inform them.
I had a nice nap after 2.Took a puff from the inhaler. Had the drops at 4pm. It is raining outside. Thank you Lord for the nice weather, will write more later.
June 7,Sunday:
Said mass here at 10.30 am.Mathaichan, LIssy and Allen came for the mass.It was nice that I could say mass here.Tomorrow .I have to leave early.I have to pray to the Lord for his mercy and ask Him to guide the surgeon.Had a nice nap.Had drops in the eye almost regularly.For a few days, I have to remain without any reading. More than a month ,I spent at the Mount.It was a good time. The  priests treated me well.I think this was the first time I spent time at the Mount for such a  long period.I could spend my time in prayer in the big chapel.Now, I have to focus on prayer and alms giving in reparation of my sins and failures.
June 16,Tuesday
My surgery was on June 8th.We reached there at 8.30am. Went to the adjacent blding where the operation theatre was.I was given their dress and then led to the theatre.Given injection for anesthesia and then the Doctor came and the surgery was over within 20 minutes.I was then told that everything went OK.Before the surgery,I had to go to the room where the laser treatment was given.I had to look at the 6 point- lights.It was for a few minutes. I was released from there  and was led to the operation theatre.By 9.30 am ,I was cleared. I was given the dark glass,medicines etc.Reached Johnachen's house.Johnachan paid Rs.81,000 by his debit card.
5 days were spent at Johnachen's house and Johnachen was very regular in putting drops into my eyes.Yesterday , had an appointment with Dr.Sai and he said I am OK and told me to resume my regular work.Last evening ,I came back to EKM after having lunch at Mathaichan's house.I have to meet them on 29th for another appointment. Sent the documents for reimbursement to the Good health insurance co.
Read Mt.Ch.15, the Canaanite woman's request  and Jesus granting her request after her persistent asking.That is what I have to do in my life: to be in constant contact with my Lord and Savior,Jesus Christ.
Today when I went to the Mount ;everyone was happy to welcome me back.The Cardinal was there for lunch and we had a happy time speaking about my experiences. After tiffin, I left for Ekm. Some of the priests expressed the desire that I should stay there as the corona was spiking up.
I am deeply thankful to the Lord for his blessing during this surgery.
I should be happy in my life with Jesus.O,Jesus, be with me and help me to work for you.
Abraham Kurien called tonight to brief me about the development of the X Leadership Institute.I was the one who suggested his name and got him involved.
June 18,Thursday
Today is the first anniversary of Fr.Chiramel's demise. Concelebrated mass with the Cardinal. I miss him a lot as we used to share conversations at our table when we are alone.May the Lord reward him with eternal bliss.
Last evening, I had a call from Prof.Philip.His first call after a long absence!He wanted to invite me to one of the functions in connection with his anniversary.I told him about the betrothal and said I could join at the mass at the Mount. He said he would give a call later when he comes down.
Today I sent a note to SBI manager,Princy Thomas ,with regard to making a FD from my account of the pension.She was prompt in her response.Three accounts which were found to be NRE are , at her request, converted into ordinary deposits.All were deposited for five years and can be cancelled at any time.Quarterly interests.
June 26,Friday
Last night, we had a common meting of the inmates of the house with regard to the arrangements for July 3rd celebration. No large scale celebrations.There will be a lunch with a few invitees.
The morning meditation was on today's Gospel for the mass: the raising of Jairus' daughter from Mark.The words Jesus said to the young girl should be the words I should hear from the Lord everyday: Rise up, Girl.Our Lord is merciful and generous.He grants whatever that is being asked.He does not care for the personal quality or the virtuous acts of the individual.He looks for only a person's faith in Him. Our sins and failures should not detain us from coming closer to him and experiencing  his kindness.
July 2,Thursday
On June 29, had an appointment at the hospital.Met Dr.Sai and he said I am all right and that I could use the drops for one more month.Thank you Lord for the success of the surgery.Now my sight is OK.I have new prescriptions for the lens for the right eye.Thank you Lord for being with me during the surgery at this corona time.
There was  a call from Mr.John, the father of Ammu to visit their home after the betrothal ceremony. Abraham Kurien called yesterday and I called him back.They have the staff ready now.Ranjana is appointed the  Deputy Director. That is not my field.I have to think of using my time for the Lord.
I have made an FD of Rs.50,000 as a tax saver and received the certificate by courier yesterday.
The Cardinal's sister-in-law passed away.I thought of going first but then, thinking of my age, I decided not to go.
I will spend my time reading books.I thank my dear Lord for giving me the grace to think about the surgery and getting it done.Now,I can read well.
July 3,Friday
Today is St.Thomas Day and there will be a solemn rasa here this morning at 10 a.m. I am going for the  concelebration.This will be my homage to St.Thomas. I have to write more about the reasonableness of our faith .
Thomas' response to the Risen Jesus  summarizes our thoughts about  our faith in the Lord.He is our Lord and God.Our attachment should be absolute and there should be no reservation about that total commitment, whatever may be our experiences in life.Jesus will take care of us and he will change all the opposing forces to become sources of our growth.When we look back, we realize how God has guided us through the storms and turbulence of life.Lord, I place myself before you.You are the joy of my life.
July 4, Saturday
Left around 8.30 am for Mathaichan's house for prayer just before Allen's leaving for the betrothal. I reached St.Dominic's by 10.30 am, an hour earlier. Sat in the Sacristy.The ceremony went OK.I then left for their house and said a prayer.After that, I left for the church for lunch. The Vicar was more courteous. Joined the Cardinal for the mass for Prof.Philip.Only 6 people came from XIME since they were told about  the need to minimize the number. P.C.Cyriac and a few others came for the mass.I have to work for the Lord.Read and write about my faith—that is what is needed.

July 6,Monday
I am here at Ekm , having returned from the Mount after coffee in the evening. They are all quarantining themselves since a deacon from Faridabad came there a few days ago who contracted the virus.This morning ,the Cardinal called to inform me that I should stay here for a  few more days.I was determined to stay here for more than 15 days.My room is also being painted.
I called the Insurance and he says the amount is sanctioned and they would be sending the amount to the Bank. I asked whether the whole amount is sanctioned and he said Yes.We will find out when the message comes.If they have sent the whole amount, then I don't have to approach the  other
insurance.
Lord, thank you for your blessings.To be alive and to have the health to praise the Lord is the most important blessing.
July 8,Wednesday
Today I got my new glasses for my specs—cost Rs.9500. The Oriental insurance offers Rs.24000.Gave the papers to Biju to be taken to Giridhar in order to present them to the Tata Family insurance.
I watched a movie on You tube.Today too, working on the cell phones and wasted my time.Have not done any serious work.Now I have got new glasses and hence I can use my time for reading.Lord, have mercy on me and help me to come closer to you.I have not prayed much as I used to pray at the Mount.
July 9,Thursday
I have begun writing notes for sermons.I will continue to do that.Within the next few days, I will finish up the whole series of liturgical seasons.
Biju went to the Tata Insurance and gave the papers to them.I have to call them later to find out whether they needed any more information.
I am using the two phones now.Will use them.The small phone is more trouble free with the big one getting hot.Lord, increase my love for you.You are the joy of my life.
July 10.Friday
The cardinal called today just to say how they were doing.He would move the meals to the big dining hall. Asked me to return by next Monday.I said I would return after 15 days. Called Fr.Melvettom .Told him that I would pick him up by 10.30am.
I am reading George Wiegel's book, "Letters to a Young Catholic "which is presenting the major aspects of the Christian faith through different Cathedrals,countries and cultures.Interesting is the technique.A travelogue with explanations of the different doctrines and beliefs of the Faith.
July 11,Saturday
The marriage of Allen and Ammu was celebrated today at 11.30 am at the Edappally church.The Vicar came before the beginning of the mass.
Fr.Thomas Melvettom concelebrated.He gave a good sermon although I could not follow it from the altar.But Ammu was seen following it well.Thank God, it is over in spite of all the changes that are taking place on account of the Covid spread.
Read a small chapter of Santimon's book and wrote to him about the beauty of his style.Fr.Antony Thundathil called back and told him to get in touch with the Cardinal.
Thank you,Lord.
July 14,Tuesday
Yesterday, the Cardinal called to tell me that Fr.Antony called.He asked me to prepare a draft for the Inter Church against the conversion of Hagia Sohia into a mosque.Did prepare and made a few revisions according to his suggestion and sent it to him last night.Went to visit Johnachan.Allen developed a problem with his shoulder and was taken to Renai.He has to keep his arm in a sling for 3 weeks.Thank God, it happened after the marriage blessing and the party.Did not do much yesterday.Saw a movie on a black girl given for adoption, searching for her while birth mother and getting united with her black foster mother, white mother who adopted her and her birth mother. Moving movie dealing with race relations and the problems of adoption.
Called Rajan Pottamkulam at the instance of Thommachan's information of Rajan's youngest son joining a Franciscan seminary after his MD. God bless him.

Fr.Abraham Mupparathara

 Fr.Abraham

Fr. Mupparathar was buried at the Kiliroor church cemetery on Aug.4th, the feast day  of St.John Vianney.Fr.Abraham was a simple , loving and kind priest.He had no pretensions.He could move with people of all tastes and levels of education and was loved by the people of his parishes for his dedication.In every parish he was assigned to , he made it appear better  than what it was before.Built many churches, parish halls etc.There was no appearance of tension in his life.He was a good friend of mine. He used to write to me often when I was in the States.I have visited him in many of the parishes where he was stationed.

I lost another friend of mine with his passing away.He used to call me and offer his congratulations whenever my articles appeared in the newspapers. What a lovely person he was.I could have shown more appreciation of his life and his  work. His talks were simple.He was very warm-hearted. The last meeting we had with him was at Kumarakom.That was the last time we could enjoy his laughter and banter.

God bless him and give him eternal rest.

Thank you,22

 Thank you -22
April 27,Monday
Had a slow day.Did not do much.Said mass in the morning at the chapel.Will Spend more time in the chapel
Lord, thank you for your love and protection.I have to continue my prayers and to be in constant  contact with you.
Biju brought some of my books and articles from Xime.
So far God has protected me in spite of my weaknesses.
May 1,Friday.
Last night was the celebration of the Jubilee of Nikhila and this morning, we did join a concelebrated mass.Now my sleeping has become regular.
I was suffering from severe allergy in the last few days but today I feel better and could participate in the mass more calmly.
Bp.Anikuzhikattil passed away this morning and the funeral is  next Tuesday.The News media have a positive presentation of his contributions.
I have not done any reading after coming here.I have spent more time in the chapel and I think I would be doing the same in the coming days
Biju brought all my books from XIME.When I found the prayer book, I felt very happy.I thought I lost it or got it misplaced.Thank you ,Lord.Thank you St.Antony for your intercession.
May 3,Sunday
I am still here at the Mount.I think I will continue here for a few more days.The lock out rule says that people over 65 should be staying at home. From today onwards, I would start writing and reading.For a few days, I was severely disturbed by the allergy.
May 5,Tuesday
This morning the Cardinal left for Idukki for the funeral of the Bp of Idukki.I never had any interaction with him.He was not a talking type.His ordinariness was a source of attraction to many.He was loved by his people and the bishops.
Yesterday, George Paul called me to speak about the changes. He was un happy with the way he was transferred without any consultation.So also, he was not happy with the way Capt.Cyriac was elbowed out.
I have not done any serious work these days. From today onwards I would work on the scriptural notes that I have prepared.
.
Lord, have mercy on A. Her demise was very sudden.On my way to XIMe,in the morning, all of a sudden I felt the urge to say the rosary of Mercy.Maybe I was saying this as she got sick and was taken to the hospital.It was the first time that I said the rosary of mercy.In the afternoon, I saw the text of Donna informing me that she had passed away.I called her and she told me that everything had happened very fast.John also talked to me. Thus ended one of the glorious chapters in my American experience. She strengthened my Catholic faith and my priestly life.She made me join the Charismatic prayer group and introduced me to her prayer groups.Made me say masses for them.Her friends became my friends.All were over very fast.That is the way life ends.All happen without our knowledge.I have to offer myself totally to the Lord.All the days and months of my life should be given to the Lord.That is all what I have to do.

May 7,Thursday
How soon days pass by.Today ,I will be doing some writing.
The reading for the mass  was Mt.15 : 1-9
What Jesus wants from us is not lip-service but real internal dedication to Him.I have to be totally committed to my Lord.That is all I have to do in my life.
May 8,Friday
The reading for the mass was the multiplication of bread for five thousand.Jesus wanted to feed the people who were hungry which shows that he is always interested in the material and spiritual welfare of his people.He will not forsake any one.This should give me confidence in my life.Our  Lord will never forsake us even if we are sinful and ungrateful.His mercy has no limits.This multiplication reminds me that I have to multiply the gifts that have been given to me for the good of others.
My daily bread—p.198-- “ My daily life is really a battle,with opposing forces arising both inside and outside of me....Prayer,mortification and sacraments are the weapons which will overcome the enemy.Relying on God's grace and following the directions of the Church I will conquer sin and advance in virtue each day.”
May 10,Sunday,Mother's Day.
I said the mass in the chapel.Nothing serious was done. Opened my flash drive to read the notes. I have not done much there.Slowly working on it.I think I will spend some time on it to complete the work.I have to add some writing on priestly life.The last couple of weeks here were not spent in reading at all.Also , I was struggling with allergy.Now I take two tablets of allergy.I have also begun taking tumeric with honey.
I was told by Francis from XIME that their hostels are taken over by the Govt for quarantine purposes.
May 11,Monday

Today's meditation on the reading for the mass---Jesus speaking about the signs demanded by the people. What is needed is  a strong trust in the Lord.This is what I am going to do.I will spend my time affirming my love for the Lord.
May 12,Tuesday
Today's Gospel reading is from Mt.21
Jesus curses the fig tree and it dries out immediately.The disciples were surprised at the wilting of the tree and asked Jesus about it.Jesus tells them that they can do even greater things provided they have faith.Then he tells them they can get anything if they ask for it in his name.
This is a teaching for all of us to become hopeful and confident in our life.Any thing for our material or spiritual welfare will be given by Jesus provided we ask for them in His name.The Lord wants  firm and binding faith in Him.The Lord will work miracles for us.Whatever we think is abominable or disastrous for us at one time will be turned for our good when we look back upon it later in life.Thank you Lord for  your mercy and compassion.
May 14,Thursday
Today's meditation: Jesus is telling us that those who acknowledge him will be acknowledged by the Father. This  saying of Jesus  is the cornerstone of my spiritual life. Jesus will not abandon those who put their faith in him and who propagate His message.The Lord will forgive my sins and will protect me.
Today is the fasting and prayer day announced by the CBCI.I have to spend more time in adoration before the Lord in reparation of my sins.Lord, have mercy on me.

May 15,Friday
There will be the monthly recollection tonight .Fr.James will be giving the talk. The meditation this morning is about ceremonial washing.Jesus tells the apostles that what is important is not what goes through the mouth but what comes out of the mouth.All our sins are born in our hearts.It is those sins that are harmful.Jesus wants us to be pure in our actions.
May 17,Sunday
Said mass in the chapel on the second floor with other fathers.Had a common breakfast.Today's  blood sugar was high ,around 133.Yesterday I had bitter gourd water,mango juice(not sweet ),jackfruit pieces(three) and jackfruit supper.Something was there that increased the sugar level.I have to check my intake in the coming days.
Today's reading was from St.John Ch.17 on unity.Jesus wants the same sense of unity that exists between Himself and the Father to exist exist among the faithful with himself and the Father.That means, our hearts should not harbor any grudges and hostile feelings.Lord, help me to get rid of  all negative feelings or feelings of hardness against persons who have been unkind to me.Give me a spirit that is free and open.
May 20 Wednesday
This  evening I went outside for a walk.Until today, I was walking on the terrace.Tomorrow is the feast of the Ascension of our Lord.I did complete the translation of the Circular and mailed it to Fr.Vincent.
Lord , thank you for your compassion.As I look back, I see God protecting me in spite of my failures and sins.

May 24 Sunday
Said mass in the chapel.A quiet day. Until now,I could lead a few weeks of quiet life here. They are welcoming and I could spend my time in prayers. Since I was composing messages and translating circulars I did not spend much time in writing reflections. I will work more from today on wards in that regard.Yesterday was the 60th wedding anniversary of Kochayan.Went to Ekm for lunch.The sisters from the convent,Sr.Anny, the mother and another sister came in the evening.
June 1,Monday
Nimish called to say that Dina got the appointment order and she went and signed at the college office this morning.She was very persevering and succeeded in getting appointed in the Govt service.God bless her.
Thank you Lord for your blessings.

Thank you ,21

Thank you, 21
March 31,Monday
I called Rosy, the wife of Bavuk to offer my prayers and condolences.It is her daughter who took the call first and then at my request handed over the call to Rosy.I spoke with her for a few minutes.She mentioned that Bavuk was very active until the last moment of his life.There was a surgical procedure a month ago and from that time onward, his condition was turning worse.God bless him.
.My stomach  was upset because of the stale milk   that was used in  the morning tea and  is still creating trouble .I had only arrow root porridge for supper. I hope it will disappear as it is not as strong as last time's.I have to be very strict with myself and never to take any food that I feel suspicious  about.My stomach is very sensitive. I hope I will get over this.
I watched a movie on chrome cast. I forget this word often.
.
I called Lal at the college and told him to borrow Rs.2000 from anyone and that I would reimburse him.
The death count in US is going beyond 3000. The Virus is not abating---increasing all over the world.
April 1,Wednesday.

Biju brought the tab lets(I got the prescription miraculously after midnight, during my second search of the drawer—Thank you,Lord.) and  took one and I feel more relaxed and at peace.Gave his salary and also sent a message to Fr.Regi to give Rs.2000 to Lal , the sweeper.I am glad that I could do this to one who is suffering from financial hardship.
This morning, I had a call from the MABP telling me that he got the condolence message and that it was written well. I just did it for the Lord. I am glad that it was appreciated.Lord, thank you for your blessings.
I have to be extremely careful about the meals and drinks I take.Last night was a horrible night.
It is now 3,30 p.m. I feel OK in the sense that there was no stomach disturbance. Thank you Lord for your blessing.I will spend my time in more prayers.Will say the mass soon,
Will read Nouwen's reflections on Lent.
Apri 2,Thursday
I am Ok by the grace of God.Received calls from Thommachan and Johnachan and Lelamma.Will do more writing and reading.Will finish more sections of OB.Thinking of A very often.Through her loss, I lost a great connection and a source of conversation.I know I won't get a person like that in my life.A chapter that is closed for ever.Just before the last few months of her life, she led a very active life.The fall in her room and the stay in the hospital made her very weak and incapacitated.She had to depend on others for everything.I am wondering what they have done with the house and what Franky is doing. She has left them enough money so that none of them would have any problems.The connection with the family is gone and it is not proper for me to be in touch with them.God bless her.I should continue praying for her.
The only other persons  who are in contact with me are Karen and Peter (and his friend Merdel.)
It is 3.15 pm.I was reading news on the computer as I did not get any siesta.
This morning, my meditation was from Lk: 11 where Jesus speaks about prayer and the need to persist in prayers.Just like the man in the parable who because of the persistence of his friend, opened the house to give bread to his  friend, we should be asking the Lord persistently to respond to our prayers.This is the answer to my prayers.I should not be worried about my failures and sins.I should ask the Lord for forgiveness non-stop and he will grant me the forgiveness.That is what he taught us.He who taught us to avoid sins has also asked us to pray for forgiveness.Therefore, we should not be worried.We should experience peace in our lives.
April 3,Friday
I don't feel very energetic today.A feeling of tired ness.I thought of spending today for prayers.Attended the teleconfernce of theXIME for half an hour.Their discussion was on the on -line courses they should be taking and also on the dates of conducting exams.
Last night , the Cardinal and the priests spoke about the stimulus payment from the US and asked me whether I got it.Told them that nobody had got it.Adoppally mentioned something about this to the fathers.
O Lord, be with me.Forgive me and forgive all others.Have mercy on the world.Wipe away the virus from the fac of the earth.When I am silent, all my past failures come to mind and I wonder how it was possible for me to fail in such a miserable way.Lord, have mercy on me.I am not worthy of your call.I know you are merciful and kind and that you wound not reject my prayers.
April4,Saturday
Tomorrow is Palm Sunday.I will stay here and spend more time in prayer.Praying is all that is needed in my life.My Lord has given me time to repent and ask for forgiveness.I don't have to feel bored or dispirited.This is going to be  a grace-filled week.I can just reflect on the life of Jesus and think of the changes that I have to bring about inmy life.
I have often spent time preparing for homilies.Jesus entering the inner halls of my life and walking on the paths that I have traced in my life.When Jesus walks over the crooked paths of my life,there is the straightening of my life.O Lord, come into my life.Take away the burden of my sins and allow me to shout Hosanna with you riding on the donkey through the crooked paths  of my life.Lord, change me and make me a new  person.I cannot change the crooked curves of my life but you can change.Make me a new person.
This evening, I watched on Youtube a movie called Perfect Prayer where everyone receives forgiveness.The story is plausible  but very sad.The daughter of a woman married to a black preacher has  a  daughter from his father's  molestation of her in her teen years.The daughter does not know and the black preacher does not know the story.But the preacher began also molesting the daughter.The daughter gives several hints to her mother but she does not catch it.In the end when the preacher had a heart attack and when there was need for a transfusion of blood, the  mother has to reveal the whole story.In the end, the daughter writes a letter to her father and mother offering them forgiveness. A very depressing story but there is light and hope at the end.
Lord, have mercy on me.I am a sinner too.I have not been faithful to you as a priest.I have failed you many times in my life.Now that I am coming physically to the end of my life, I am becoming more aware of my failings.
The Virus is having its terrible impact on the world.The US,Italy and Spain are experiencing tremendous losses.With deep prayer and penance, we can overcome its power.People have to follow the directions and stay at home whatever may be the losses or consequences.Lord have mercy on the world.Forgive our sins.
April 6,Monday
Yesterday was the Palm Sunday.Saw the Cardinal's mass at the Basilica.Said mass privately.Composed a reflection on the Palm Sunday with a copy of one of my old homilies in my blog.I did not do much.today, too , I was feeling tired.Yesterday was the last day of the medicine for the stomach trouble.I feel better today.The bad taste has gone from my mouth.
This morning my reflection was on the response of Jesus to the young man asking for advice with regard to the commandments he had to observe.Jesus told him to love God with all his heart and to love his neighbour.I also have to follow that.Those are two commandments I have to keep for  myself.Love my Lord with the totality of my being and to  have good thoughts about all.No vengeance, no bitterness ,no animosity towards any one.
Lord ,be with me and bless me.Give the grace to follow you with total devotion.Wash me clean of all my sins and failures.Let me have a new start.
April 7,Tuesday
I did not do anything specially today.The morning was more sleepy and sedate.
Called Jogy and fr.Antony.Fr.Antony called back.Sent messages to Prof.Philip and Nandagopal.
I don't have to think about the past.Think about the present and future with hope and confidence.Love the Lord and continue in prayers.The Lord will not abandon me.That is my hope.I have to keep alive that hope.
April 8,Wednesday
Tomorrow is the Holy Thursday. I have to spend my time on the importance of the Eucharist and its healing and forgiving power. Eucharist was Jesus' gift to us. He offers us the opportunity to become one with him by eating his body and drinking his blood.Whoever we are, whatever may be our inner preparedness, we are not kept apart from Jesus.We are called to be part of the banquet.Why? Because through his eternal sacrifice , he has wiped away our sins and their impact on our lives.If our sins  have created division, Eucharist creates union.God's gift is greater than man's malice.What we have done through our sins is overcome by the power of God's love. Lord, help me to understand the significance and majesty of the healing power and forgiveness offered by the Eucharist.
This morning the reflection  was on Lord's prayer at the Mount of Olives and his request to the disciples to be engaged in prayers, Jesus being brought before the High Priest and Peter's denial.In spite of bold proclamations of loyalty , he denied any kind of association with Christ.When the cock crowed, he realized that he had committed the greatest  act of betrayal.He began to cry and sob, expressing his repentance.Lord, as you forgave Peter, forgive my sins and keep me in your love.Bless the world, and stop the spread of the virus that is taking the lives of many and keeping the world in fear and trepidation.
Aril 9,Holy Thursday
Said mass.Distributed communion to the family including Ria.Spoke to the Cardinal briefly.Had the cutting of the Inria Bread and the drinking of the special milk.
April 10,Good Friday
Saw the services of Mar Alencherry and Mar Cleemis.The Malankara prayers were beautiful to listen, although long and repetitive.MABP sermon was long.Although a prepared one but touching many points and was not sharply focused.Mr Cleemis sermon also did not sound well as he might have got tired from the service.
Thank you ,Lord, for giving me the grace to be part of these services.But early morning, participated in the service offered by Mar Tony  Neelankavil including his sermon.He began his sermon with the comment of a prisoner for whom he said the mass, telling him that Jesus suffered like him was very comforting.
April 13,Monday
The Easter was over.Today is the Monday after Easter.Easter, Holy Saturday and Good Friday and Holy Thursday were celebrated at home.It was the same for Christians and Catholics all over the world.Thank you ,Lord, for your blessings.
We have to start a new phase in our spiritual journey.I heard a few words from fthe helper of Fr.Dave asking his listeners to offer all their problems and tensions in a bundle at the foot of the Cross as the Death of Jesus was for liberating each one of us from our burdens.That message was a very comforting and liberating one better than all the other messages that came from the official homilies preached at the masses.He touched the core of the sacrifice of Jesus which is for liberating us.It is only then we can enjoy lasting peace and joy in our heart.
Today I read Ch.5 of Mathew's Gospel. Listened to the words of Jesus on the Beatitudes and for the need to be respectful in dealings with others and also of the serious warning against a lustful way of life.I have to ask the Lord pardon for all my sins of life and for grace to start a new phase in my life.
April 15,Wednesday
Yesterday , Mody declared the lockdown upto May 3rd.The virus is still active and more people are caught in the contagion.Kerala is getting better.There was an article in the Washington Post about the extra precautionary care taken by Kerala.
I have to prepare my self spiritually weel by driving away from my mind all distractions and focussing on God's presence in my life.
Today in the Gospel of Mathew,Ch.6, God speaks of the need to be assured of His love for each one of us and to live without becoming anxious or worried.If the grass is taken care of so much, much more will be God's care for each one of us.Lord, Thank you.I have only to think of life today and orient it towards you.No more thinking about the past and my failures.Today God gives me the opportunity to be attached to Him.That is all what I have to do.
In the news, I have read about the new trend happening in Protestant denominations where they are sharing the pastors as many small parishes find it difficult to support full-time pastors.
April 17,Friday
A couple of days ago it was reported that Fr.Chalangady had passed away.It was AK Varghese who informed about his demise.Fr.Chalangady was a gentle soul, very helpful and compassionate.People loved him for his simplicity.He was an associate at Thathampally and then ministered at the orphanage at Punnapara.Since this is the lockdown phase, very few of the priests attended his funeral.May God give him eternal rest.
I sent an email yesterday to Lou Collector and I got her reply very promptly this morning.She is confined to her room because eof lockdown and meals are being supplied to her everyday.Replied to her on myiphone first and since it  did not go ,I wrote from this computer on my gmail.I was happy to read her reply as I was not sure whether she was healthy and in DC. There are no other acquaintances from St.P's now there known to me.She has mentioned that there is another Fr.George from India staying there.A surprising piece of news!
Today I will spend more time in reading and writing.
Thank you Lord for the time given to me.
In the Gospel of Mathew,Ch.8, I read Jesus healing the leper and curing the centurion's servant.It offers him a chance to praise his faith as he does not want Jesus to make the effort to come over to his house but only to say a word.
Did not do much. No reading too.
Biju came bringing medicines etc.Spoke to Jogy .He got the stimulus payments. I did not see any payment in my a/c.Had a call from Georgekutty. Spoke about Eapen's sickness.He mentioned the presence of the corona among the priests there.Georgekutty mentions that everything is quiet over there.No shops , no sale etc.
Lord, be kind to mankind and destroy the virus that is taking away the lives of many.
I saw a movie on Chrome cast—Grace saves—story of a newly elected Pope moves out of the Palace and movs to villages, working for them.Later returns and makes his public appearance.  Good movie.no sleaziness.
Lord, be with me and give me the grace to be close to you.
April 18,Saturday
Another day for me to thank and praise the Lord.Read Ch. 9 of Mathew where Jesus speaks about his mission of caring for the sinners: I came not to call the righteous but sinners.This gives me a lot of confidence in knowing the mind of Jesus with regard to our sins.We are never outside the ken of his care and mercy.Just because we are sinners or failed on  many occasions to live up to the highest moral standards, we will not be abandoned.He is there ready to offer us another chance and offers forgiveness for our ins.It means that we have to move forward with confidence and hope and do everything that will bring honor and glory to Jesus.
April 19,Sunday.
The 75th Birthday of MABP.There was  an article in the Deepika by the Abp of Trichur on MABP—a biographical account.No celebration at the Mount.Since I am here under the lockdown, I was not involved much in the activities at the Mount.
I saw a movie on St.Augustine which was beautiful.St.Ambrose, Monica etc are represented well.Augustine's fight with Donatist heresy was also well described.
Watched on Youtube from the Ipad which was seen on TV through Chromecast.
Lord, I thank you for the time given to me. I will use it for you.I should not be worried much about any involvement in official programmes.My time for that is over.But I should not waste my time but use it for further reading and writing.Some good will come out of it.Just pray and read.
Mt ch.10---the call of the 12 and the instruction given to them to preach without any fear.If God takes care of the sparrows and other birds of the sky , he would look much more for men with kindness and understanding.

vs.32: So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven.”

April 21,Tuesday
Made a call to Fr.Vincent to know how things are with them and to congratulate them on the arrangements for the celebraton of the birthday of the Cardinal.Last night I watched a movie”The Case of Jesus “ by Lee Strabell.I have oftern seen the book but never felt the urge to buy it.But the movie was well done with the argument that Resurrection of Jesus was not a myth but an historical fact.Lee became a Chrsitian and so his family. The movie concludes with a powerful speech by him asserting the divinity of Jesus.I went to bed at 2 am. So, it was a short night sleep since I woke up around 5 am as I usually do.
April 23
I came to the Mount on April 23 afternoon.Had lunch here.Had a haircut done by Libin.Had the supper with the Cardinal and Fr.Joji—Festal greeting to me too.Made a short speech.Ubi Petrus, ibi Franciscus—by Chesterton.
24th morning at 5 am. Mass with the Cardinal. On 24th,P.C.Cyriac called me and after a bit of chit chat  told me that my contract ends by the end of April. God transforms every occasion for my growth.