Thank you.20
March 22,Sunday
Today is the stay at home day requested by the Prime Minister. All the people in India have to stay indoors today in order to prevent the spread of the corona virus.Many of the States in India, including Kerala, have asked the people not to make any forays outside their homes. Social distancing is asked for.No more people are allowed to gather in numbers more than ten.All over America too, similar restrictions are in force.Europe has become the epicenter of the pandemic with Italy and Spain experiencing more deaths daily.Masses are cancelled for the public and people are asked to stay indoors and offer prayers.
This is the time for us to raise our hearts to God to ask him to stop the spread of this deadly disease.Modern medicine and the helps of technology are of no use now.Against this new virus , nothing is helpful.There is an eerie silence all over the world.People are dissuaded from traveling and planes are not allowed to land at International airports.
Today I read from Mathew's(Ch.24) Gospel about Jesus' warning about the end of the world.Those words seem to be very appropriate for today's world.The key word that is being emphasized is , “Be prepared”.This is the time for me to spend time in prayer, asking the Lord for forgiveness not only for my sins but also for the sins of the world.I have to ask Him to save the world and drive away the pandemic from the face of the earth.
We have to depend on the mercy of God and not to worry about our sins.We should never doubt the forgiveness of the Lord.
The words of Nouwen are very comforting :
“Our temptation is to be so impressed by our sins and failings and so overwhelmed by our lack of generosity that we get stuck in a paralyzing guilt.It is the guilt that says,' I am too sinful to deserve God's mercy...it is the guilt that has become an idol and therefore a form of pride.Lent is the time to break this idol and to direct our attention to our loving Lord.'
A life of faith is a life of gratitude... a truly Eucharistic life means always saying thanks to God, always praising God,and always being surprised by the abundance of God's goodness and love. It is a joyful life.There gratitude is joy and joy is gratitude and everything becomes a surprising sign of God's presence.”
March 24,Tuesday
Kerala is in a total lock down from midnight. No public transportation, no movement except for emergencies,closing of shops except the pharmacies---is what is happening now.I will not be going anywhere.I have the books .Will read and take notes.Use my time well.This is the time for prayers and getting closer to the Lord.
The world is caught in a big tragedy, unbelievable and irremediable.Nobody has any solution.The impact is felt all over the world . People are told to confine themselves at home in seclusion.
Lord, have mercy on your people.Stop the spread of the virus.Cure all those who are caught in this disease.Help me to grow closer to you.
Mt 21: 22. 'Whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.'
March 26,Thursday
Yesterday was the first day of the lock down of India as per the order of the Prime Minister that came into force on March 24 midnight.All air transport, rail and bus travel were cancelled and people were told to stay confined to their homes.No non-emergency trips were allowed.All cars and other vehicles are told to be off the road.The hope is that the virus would not spread in the society.We hope and pray that it won't spread.
Trying to spend my time in reading and prayers.The lock down is for 21 days which means that it would go beyond the Easter.We will take it in good spirit and continue to offer prayers for the disappearance of the virus. I have been watching Fr.Dave's on line mass and rosary from the Little Flower Church, Toledo,Ohio.Dave is doing a very good pastoral ministry.I see his total dedication and whole-hearted commitment.Very inspiring. He is available to his people with tenderness and deep faith.I have to follow his path of dedication.What is important is the deep attachment to Jesus. Nothing else matters much.
Thank you Lord for your blessings.Lord, save your people all over the world.Strike at the root of the pandemic.
The lock down in India is not perfect as many people in different states come out in public disregarding the warnings from the police.The international press is showing the physical punishments and beatings that are imposed on people.I am confined to my room but got time to do the Stations of the Cross and to say the Ramsa. I have to be careful with regard to keeping all the precautions that are to be taken.
March 27,Friday
The third day in the All India lock down.There is no sign of lessening of the contagion.More people are affected.The US is also getting affected faster.They should have prepared themselves a long time ago by screening airline passengers.Now it is all over the country.
I don't feel bored since I have the internet,computers, facilities for saying mass, materials for reading etc. I was reading a book on Business Organization from a link sent by Jojo. Taking notes on Leadership extensively described in the book.Today I will focus on Communication and the basic concepts in OB.
The Gospel for today's meditation was Mt.27, the Crucifixion of Jesus.The passage describes the mockery that Jesus received and the cruelty that he endured.It is this Jesus that I and all the priests are called to imitate.How different are our lives from that of Jesus.We revel in honor,glory , power and comforts.O Lord, forgive me.I am so unworthy of your call.Thank you for the blessings given to me. I am not worthy ,Lord.
The Cardinal called to let me know that Bhavuk passed away a couple of hours ago.He was very active in the parish and did everything for the parish.Dedicated his time and energy for the community but later out of some misunderstanding, he was kept aloof from the parish by the Pastor.It was a devastating blow in his life.I just spoke to Amal who is a doctor at Lissie and got more details of his sickness.God bless Bhavuk.
March 29,Sunday
Second Sunday in lock down.The majority of the people follow the dictates of the Govt. but some because of one reason or another appear on the roads.The police prevent them from moving.I hope something good will come out of this strict lock down.The virus is spreading fast in the US which is very distressing.People do not pay much attention to all the warnings and they gather together in crowds at different places.The President is releasing a big bail out to corporations and individuals.Each individual tax payer is being given $1200.
March 30,Monday.
One day more for March to be over.We are in the week just before Easter.Next Sunday is the Palm Sunday.All will be celebrating the Day in their homes, alone and not in the fellowship of the community.It is an opportunity for us to revivify our faith and to make a new commitment in the solitude of our lives.It offers us an opportunity to establish a deeper union with the Lord.What is required is a deep prayer from each one for the whole world asking the Lord to protect us in this time of great tribulation and debilitation. Lord, have mercy on us.Save your people all over the world.
I was reading from the Gospel of Mark the cure of the blind man by Jesus.His heart-rending cry flies from the pages of the Gospel: "Lord, have mercy on me."I should also cry like Bartimeus. He represents me in my personal life.As he cried , I should also cry and I am sure Jesus will hear my cry as he heard his.I should feel comforted by this miracle, knowing that Jesus will never forsake me and that he would come to my aid.Thank you Jesus for your love.There is a prayer that I read today from Nouwen that is very touching in his meditation on Monday in the second week of Lent.
“I wanted Easter to be a day full of light that not even a trace of darkness would be left in my soul.But I know that you do not come to your people with thunder and lightning.Even St. Paul and St .Francis walked through much darkness before they could see your light.Let me be thankful to your gentle way.I know you are at work.I know you will not leave me alone.I know you are quickening me for Easter--but in a way fitting to my own history and my own temperament....Let me die to the desire to choose my own way and select my own cross...Be with me tomorrow and in the days to come and let me experience your gentle presence.”
Monday, March 30, 2020
Thank you- 19
Thank you-19
Feb.21,Friday
Today is a holiday here because of Siva Ratri and I did not know that.I am here at Xime but will be going to the Mount for lunch. Next Monday is Ash Monday and I may have to stay at the Mount on Sunday evening.
Yesterday,I was at the Mount for supper as there was a farewell dinner for the CMI priests
Everyone wants "yes" persons.I am not that type. Whatever I got is just by the grace of God. Of course, Archbishop Kavukatt sent me for higher studies and that paved the way for all the leadership positions. Thank you,Lord, for the blessing and I am happy with what I have done. Of course, there were failures and great lapses.I depend on the Lord for his mercy and compassion.
Abp.Powathil , after all, in spite of all the mental difficulties he had, did give me the appointment
order as the principal. That was enough for me to develop all my talents.
Thank you, Lord. Lift the burden from my heart. I don't want anything. What you gave me is sufficient and more.
Feb.23,Sunday
I am down with diarrhoea as I ate something that was not hot on Friday evening—clam meat—and that upset my stomach. Yesterday, I went to the Mount and had bowel movements several times. Today too. I called Santosh and he told me to take tablets and drink coconut water or lemon-water with salt and a little bit of sugar.I don't see any changes. I had more than five times bowel movements. I hope it will disappear.My Lord is with me and he will take away the burden of sickness.Others are suffering much more. Tomorrow, I will take Karikin vellam,Today, I thought of going to the Mount for the Ash Monday ceremony.But I am not going.I will take rest tomorrow and day after.Lord, thank you for your love.
Feb 26,Wednesday
Today is Ash Wednesday.I am still staying at home.I was here on Monday and Tuesday. Yesterday,went to Dr.Puthooran and he examined me and wrote prescriptions.I feel better now even though I have taken the tablets only once.
He went through the medical reports and was satisfied with it.
Lord, thank you for your kindness and mercy.
Fr.Punchayil called yesterday about his brother's death.
Feb.27,Thursday
Thank you Lord for your kindness in saving me from the distressing stomach trouble. Dr.Puthuran's medicine helped me and there is no loose movement.
I had a meeting with Mr.Abraham Kurien and Mr.Sherin, the trainer.It was a cordial meeting.
I have to cooperate with them to make their ventures successful.I am satisfied with the arrangements I am provided with and hence I should not show any lack of cooperation.
I have to deepen my relationship with the Lord.I have to pray hard. There is nothing else I can do. The Lord has saved me from this sickness which really devastated me. I have to use all my time for the Lord.The Lord is my life and strength. Thuruthumaly is one I thought I could share my thoughts with. But he is in heaven. He was in such a situation that there was no possibility of sharing anything with him.
Lord, have mercy on me. Be my guard and protector.Forgive my sins.Pour your mercy over me and cover me with your forgiveness.
Feb.28,Friday
Went to Xime and remained there until morning and left for lunch at the Mount. Met the Cardinal at the lunch.
Febr.28, Saturday.
In today's Gospel-- read about the healing of the paralytic by Jesus.I prayed for Jesus' healing in my life. Today , will spend more time in adoration at the chapel. Saturdays should be special days of prayers.This is a golden chance given by Jesus. It is no more readings but prayers that are needed in my life. Lord, heal me as you healed the paralytic.You forgave his sins. Forgive my sins.
The Cardinal gave a small booklet on wages by the Acton Institute.Will go through it slowly.
.
Lord, thank you for your blessings.
March 3,Tuesday
Made an appointment with Giridhar on Wednesday at 3pm.
Talked with Fr.Joy Pala..,Fr.Muppara,Fr.Tomy Padinjareve..etc.They are doing Ok. I have to use my time well. I am reading a book”From fire by water” by an Iranian who became a Catholic(Sohrab Ahmari). Will also complete the blogs from my old posts of Thank You notes.
I have to spend my time in prayer and reflect on the passages I read from the Bible.Just now I read psalms 59,51,52 where the psalmist seeks for protection against enemies from the Lord. I have to seek protection from my temptations and my failures.I have to depend on the mercy of the Lord.I am so despicable and wretched. Lord, wash me clean from my sins.I am nearing eighty and there is not much time left for me.I have to live here worthy of the Lord. Whatever time I have here should be used to express my love for the Lord.You have given me enough for my life.I have to live in peace and joy and work for the Lord.I need nothing from anybody.I don't need any body's support.Only one person's support is all that is needed.That of my Lord Jesus.I have to improve my talents and knowledge to make people know how loving , forgiving is the Lord. Thank you, Lord, for this grace to deepen my love for you.
March 5,Thursday
Yesterday, participated in the group discussion and the interview for the new candidates.In the afternoon, went to the Giridhar to test my right eye . I was sitting there more than an hour undergoing the tests.Dr.Saikumar examined and said that I would have to fix a date for the surgery. They were ready to do it immediately. I preferred date after April 12th.April 18th is chosen for the surgery. Lord, help me and be with me as I go through the steps needed for the surgery.
I have to do this because I am losing my vision on the right eye.This is part of the ageing process. If I don't do this, then, right eye will become useless.
I have to cooperate with XIME totally and do everything possible for the success of their different programs.
March 6, Friday
Came to Xime as the Mount is being painted. Last night , I was there in the evening just for the retreat. Left for Ekm at 7.30 after my confession and a short quick supper.
I am at my office here and Biju would be coming late as he would be taking them to Thodupuzha.The AC is not functioning now and they will repair it tomorrow. It is hot and steamy inside.I am thankful to the Lord for the opportunities given to me until now. I have to work for the Lord and keep his name alive and aloud in my life. Now I am getting prepared for the next phase of the surgery.I have to get the medical situation under control.My right eye has almost lost its vision.If I had not done the surgery on the left eye , I would be totally visionless now.
Lord, bless me and keep me under your protection.Why should I seek anybody's protection and consideration now?I have to keep silent and calm , knowing that the Lord is with me.
March 8,Sunday
Yesterday, went to the Mount and I was told that there would be a party for the retiring Major Seminary Rectors.Stayed there and left around 9.30 pm.Gave a ride to Fr.Ainiyadan to the Abp's house on my way back.It was a small affair but arranged well. They cleaned my room on Saturday while I was there.Today, being Sunday , I stayed at home.Said mass at the monastery.Nothing else was done except reading Babukutty's novel.It has a good way of development.Also watched a movie on Chromecast called Decision—how a grieving mother and son were brought to the faith and a good understanding of the words of Jesus.
I have just found the port for charging the video camera. I have to write down notes on its use.
It is now at 12 midnight.I thank the Lord for all the graces he had given me. Lord, thank you and I offer this night and sleep to you.Take care of me.
March 10, Tuesday
I am in my room at XIME. Had a long chat with Abraham Kurien. Called Babukutty and told him that his novel was very good. I read it without any boredom in a couple of days.His writing style is simple and at the same time graphic and gripping. Was able to go deep into the lives of the tribals and their culture. The hero of the novel is a Kumar, a pseudo-doctor who learned some lessons in alternative medicine from Calcutta.
Will continue reading the autobiography of Sohrab.Will call SBI tomorrow.Called Jogy this morning and told him that I won't be coming although I wanted to come.
Will send a congratulatory note to Reba.
March 11,Wednesday
At XIME.Nothing extraordinary. Will spend a few hours reading.
March12,Thursday
Francis Chacko's nephew passed away;funeral tomorrow. Started reading “Fire by Water.” The majority of the students left for their homes and a few –about 15—remain here. I have to use the time for reading more on Ethics.
I am not sure whether the Leadership courses could be held this year because of the coronavirus.Schools and colleges in Kerala are closed until March 31st. International travel restrictions are enforced by India until April 15th.
Today in the gospels, I read about the teaching of Jesus on forgiveness.I have to deepen my understanding of forgiveness and practice it. I have to accept that God is also offering me forgiveness. Read a few of the psalms from 105 onwards, praising the Lord for his mercy and compassion.
March 17,Tuesday
Today is St.Patrick's day ---This was a big day when I was at St.Patrick's ,D.C. Now, I think most of the celebrations would be cancelled because o the Corona virus. America has introduced stringent travel restrictions.All over the world, the baneful impact of the virus is felt. All are discouraged from travelling and from being part of a crowd. Last evening I had a severe bout of allergy. This morning, it looks like that it has subsided. Today I would be staying here at EKM because Biju has to take his wife to the hospital. I will work on my scriptural reflections notes.
Today from the Gospel, read the words of Jesus : What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul. I have to think of my eternal salvation.That is the most important thing. I have to live by the words of Jesus—forgiving, repenting and merciful. Jesus should be the focus of my life.
Y
March 19,Thursday
Yesterday afternoon, went to the Mount as the Cardinal wanted to meet me.I met him around 5p.m.
The feast of St.Joseph was celebrated last night and I was there for the dinner.Returned to Ekm after dinner.Johnachan asked me not to go anywhere but to stay at home. I think I should follow the advice.Will do some reading.
The Corona virus is spreading in India and all are asked to be cautious.I too have to take precautions.I won't visit any one or talk to any one .
March 21,Saturday
Staying at home.Bought two shirts through Biju.Allowed him to go.Will meet him on Monday.Sunday is the all India stay at home on account of the Prime Minister.
Feb.21,Friday
Today is a holiday here because of Siva Ratri and I did not know that.I am here at Xime but will be going to the Mount for lunch. Next Monday is Ash Monday and I may have to stay at the Mount on Sunday evening.
Yesterday,I was at the Mount for supper as there was a farewell dinner for the CMI priests
Everyone wants "yes" persons.I am not that type. Whatever I got is just by the grace of God. Of course, Archbishop Kavukatt sent me for higher studies and that paved the way for all the leadership positions. Thank you,Lord, for the blessing and I am happy with what I have done. Of course, there were failures and great lapses.I depend on the Lord for his mercy and compassion.
Abp.Powathil , after all, in spite of all the mental difficulties he had, did give me the appointment
order as the principal. That was enough for me to develop all my talents.
Thank you, Lord. Lift the burden from my heart. I don't want anything. What you gave me is sufficient and more.
Feb.23,Sunday
I am down with diarrhoea as I ate something that was not hot on Friday evening—clam meat—and that upset my stomach. Yesterday, I went to the Mount and had bowel movements several times. Today too. I called Santosh and he told me to take tablets and drink coconut water or lemon-water with salt and a little bit of sugar.I don't see any changes. I had more than five times bowel movements. I hope it will disappear.My Lord is with me and he will take away the burden of sickness.Others are suffering much more. Tomorrow, I will take Karikin vellam,Today, I thought of going to the Mount for the Ash Monday ceremony.But I am not going.I will take rest tomorrow and day after.Lord, thank you for your love.
Feb 26,Wednesday
Today is Ash Wednesday.I am still staying at home.I was here on Monday and Tuesday. Yesterday,went to Dr.Puthooran and he examined me and wrote prescriptions.I feel better now even though I have taken the tablets only once.
He went through the medical reports and was satisfied with it.
Lord, thank you for your kindness and mercy.
Fr.Punchayil called yesterday about his brother's death.
Feb.27,Thursday
Thank you Lord for your kindness in saving me from the distressing stomach trouble. Dr.Puthuran's medicine helped me and there is no loose movement.
I had a meeting with Mr.Abraham Kurien and Mr.Sherin, the trainer.It was a cordial meeting.
I have to cooperate with them to make their ventures successful.I am satisfied with the arrangements I am provided with and hence I should not show any lack of cooperation.
I have to deepen my relationship with the Lord.I have to pray hard. There is nothing else I can do. The Lord has saved me from this sickness which really devastated me. I have to use all my time for the Lord.The Lord is my life and strength. Thuruthumaly is one I thought I could share my thoughts with. But he is in heaven. He was in such a situation that there was no possibility of sharing anything with him.
Lord, have mercy on me. Be my guard and protector.Forgive my sins.Pour your mercy over me and cover me with your forgiveness.
Feb.28,Friday
Went to Xime and remained there until morning and left for lunch at the Mount. Met the Cardinal at the lunch.
Febr.28, Saturday.
In today's Gospel-- read about the healing of the paralytic by Jesus.I prayed for Jesus' healing in my life. Today , will spend more time in adoration at the chapel. Saturdays should be special days of prayers.This is a golden chance given by Jesus. It is no more readings but prayers that are needed in my life. Lord, heal me as you healed the paralytic.You forgave his sins. Forgive my sins.
The Cardinal gave a small booklet on wages by the Acton Institute.Will go through it slowly.
.
Lord, thank you for your blessings.
March 3,Tuesday
Made an appointment with Giridhar on Wednesday at 3pm.
Talked with Fr.Joy Pala..,Fr.Muppara,Fr.Tomy Padinjareve..etc.They are doing Ok. I have to use my time well. I am reading a book”From fire by water” by an Iranian who became a Catholic(Sohrab Ahmari). Will also complete the blogs from my old posts of Thank You notes.
I have to spend my time in prayer and reflect on the passages I read from the Bible.Just now I read psalms 59,51,52 where the psalmist seeks for protection against enemies from the Lord. I have to seek protection from my temptations and my failures.I have to depend on the mercy of the Lord.I am so despicable and wretched. Lord, wash me clean from my sins.I am nearing eighty and there is not much time left for me.I have to live here worthy of the Lord. Whatever time I have here should be used to express my love for the Lord.You have given me enough for my life.I have to live in peace and joy and work for the Lord.I need nothing from anybody.I don't need any body's support.Only one person's support is all that is needed.That of my Lord Jesus.I have to improve my talents and knowledge to make people know how loving , forgiving is the Lord. Thank you, Lord, for this grace to deepen my love for you.
March 5,Thursday
Yesterday, participated in the group discussion and the interview for the new candidates.In the afternoon, went to the Giridhar to test my right eye . I was sitting there more than an hour undergoing the tests.Dr.Saikumar examined and said that I would have to fix a date for the surgery. They were ready to do it immediately. I preferred date after April 12th.April 18th is chosen for the surgery. Lord, help me and be with me as I go through the steps needed for the surgery.
I have to do this because I am losing my vision on the right eye.This is part of the ageing process. If I don't do this, then, right eye will become useless.
I have to cooperate with XIME totally and do everything possible for the success of their different programs.
March 6, Friday
Came to Xime as the Mount is being painted. Last night , I was there in the evening just for the retreat. Left for Ekm at 7.30 after my confession and a short quick supper.
I am at my office here and Biju would be coming late as he would be taking them to Thodupuzha.The AC is not functioning now and they will repair it tomorrow. It is hot and steamy inside.I am thankful to the Lord for the opportunities given to me until now. I have to work for the Lord and keep his name alive and aloud in my life. Now I am getting prepared for the next phase of the surgery.I have to get the medical situation under control.My right eye has almost lost its vision.If I had not done the surgery on the left eye , I would be totally visionless now.
Lord, bless me and keep me under your protection.Why should I seek anybody's protection and consideration now?I have to keep silent and calm , knowing that the Lord is with me.
March 8,Sunday
Yesterday, went to the Mount and I was told that there would be a party for the retiring Major Seminary Rectors.Stayed there and left around 9.30 pm.Gave a ride to Fr.Ainiyadan to the Abp's house on my way back.It was a small affair but arranged well. They cleaned my room on Saturday while I was there.Today, being Sunday , I stayed at home.Said mass at the monastery.Nothing else was done except reading Babukutty's novel.It has a good way of development.Also watched a movie on Chromecast called Decision—how a grieving mother and son were brought to the faith and a good understanding of the words of Jesus.
I have just found the port for charging the video camera. I have to write down notes on its use.
It is now at 12 midnight.I thank the Lord for all the graces he had given me. Lord, thank you and I offer this night and sleep to you.Take care of me.
March 10, Tuesday
I am in my room at XIME. Had a long chat with Abraham Kurien. Called Babukutty and told him that his novel was very good. I read it without any boredom in a couple of days.His writing style is simple and at the same time graphic and gripping. Was able to go deep into the lives of the tribals and their culture. The hero of the novel is a Kumar, a pseudo-doctor who learned some lessons in alternative medicine from Calcutta.
Will continue reading the autobiography of Sohrab.Will call SBI tomorrow.Called Jogy this morning and told him that I won't be coming although I wanted to come.
Will send a congratulatory note to Reba.
March 11,Wednesday
At XIME.Nothing extraordinary. Will spend a few hours reading.
March12,Thursday
Francis Chacko's nephew passed away;funeral tomorrow. Started reading “Fire by Water.” The majority of the students left for their homes and a few –about 15—remain here. I have to use the time for reading more on Ethics.
I am not sure whether the Leadership courses could be held this year because of the coronavirus.Schools and colleges in Kerala are closed until March 31st. International travel restrictions are enforced by India until April 15th.
Today in the gospels, I read about the teaching of Jesus on forgiveness.I have to deepen my understanding of forgiveness and practice it. I have to accept that God is also offering me forgiveness. Read a few of the psalms from 105 onwards, praising the Lord for his mercy and compassion.
March 17,Tuesday
Today is St.Patrick's day ---This was a big day when I was at St.Patrick's ,D.C. Now, I think most of the celebrations would be cancelled because o the Corona virus. America has introduced stringent travel restrictions.All over the world, the baneful impact of the virus is felt. All are discouraged from travelling and from being part of a crowd. Last evening I had a severe bout of allergy. This morning, it looks like that it has subsided. Today I would be staying here at EKM because Biju has to take his wife to the hospital. I will work on my scriptural reflections notes.
Today from the Gospel, read the words of Jesus : What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul. I have to think of my eternal salvation.That is the most important thing. I have to live by the words of Jesus—forgiving, repenting and merciful. Jesus should be the focus of my life.
Y
March 19,Thursday
Yesterday afternoon, went to the Mount as the Cardinal wanted to meet me.I met him around 5p.m.
The feast of St.Joseph was celebrated last night and I was there for the dinner.Returned to Ekm after dinner.Johnachan asked me not to go anywhere but to stay at home. I think I should follow the advice.Will do some reading.
The Corona virus is spreading in India and all are asked to be cautious.I too have to take precautions.I won't visit any one or talk to any one .
March 21,Saturday
Staying at home.Bought two shirts through Biju.Allowed him to go.Will meet him on Monday.Sunday is the all India stay at home on account of the Prime Minister.
Thank you- 18
Saturday, Feb.8
Yesterday went to Chy for the Navathy celebration of Abp.Powathil. Very few were the people who recognized me.Also the officials connected with it were more bothered about the new guests.I was forcefully invited by Kuttemperror to sit in a front row!Rekha came and greeted me and later I realized that she was one of the comperes. After a few speeches ,I left the place ,stopped en route at Alleppey and reached here by 8p.m. Had dosa at the Anugraha.The place is Ok. The meeting was an occasion to pour more accolades on Abp.Powathil.One thing is that he would take his responsibility seriously and he works through the people entrusted with the task. The meeting did not have the rigor of a well-coordinated assembly.
e.
In the Gospel from LK ch.18, Jesus speaks about the need for persistence of prayers like the widow and for the condition of our mind while praying.We have to be humble and open to trust in the providence of God like the tax collector.I have to pray to the Lord incessantly.I should not be worried about anything.God's forgiveness and his mercy will come into my life.The Lord has given whatever I want in my life.That is enough for me.What is required is deep prayer. Never be slack in prayers. I have to spend more time with the Lord.
Lord, I will spend more time before you.Increase my faith .Help me to be close to you and feel your presence.
Feb.9,Saturday.Went to the Mount .Met the Major Abp and had a little time for chatting.He said he saw me yesterday at the meeting.In the evening, went to Joseph and Leela's apartment.She prepared a well prepared evening high tea with Idiyappam,cutlet etc.Dr.George of the Spices Board was invited for it but he did not come.He would be leaving by March 8th.
Today is Sunday and I( will use the time to read Tony Joseph's book.A lot of it is the collection of theoretical discussions of the spread of African Human First people to different parts of the world through the study of the DNA.The DNA study some constant chromosome genes that go back to the first people in Africa in every human being. The first chapter is more theoretical and foundational on genetics for the study of human populations.He has taken a lot of effort in collecting the relevant materials and sifting them or the right information.
In today's meditation from Lk Ch.18, Jesus speaks about the need to detach from our wealth and to depend on God. It is hard for a wealthy person to go to heaven as it is difficult for a Camel to pass through the eyes of a needle.
Feb.9th,Sunday
Did not go any where. Ouseppachan from Thathampally came here to inform me that he would be the next Presidenti for Thathampally Church Perunnal. Offered him my support and prayers.
Nothing else was done.Took things lightly.Published Thomas and Reena's picture in my blog as well as in the Family What is app.
Feb.19,Monday
In today's Gospel reading from Lk.Ch.18
Jesus is going to stay with Zacheaus. His desire to Jesus makes him take great efforts to climb the tree to get a better view of Jesus.But ,Jesus sees his heart and his willingness to make a deep change in his life.Jesus' visit with him makes him reveal his innermost thoughts and his decision to make a dramatic change in his life.
Lord, come into my life and create in me a heart that is open to you.Let me make a deep change in my life.Let me be totally attached to you.
I still miss A as I don't have anyone to share my thoughts and feelings with.I have always in my mind the picture of her presence before the sickness and the old age crept into her when she was healthy and strong.She was willing to drive long distances .Now the only thing I have to do is to pray for her.May God grant her eternal rest.
I am at Xime.Sent my medical report to Jyothidev through Biju asking for the Doctor's evaluation.
It came to my mind in the morning that I should write everyday in the morning some reflections from “My Daily Bread”.
p.201
“No man is richer,no one is happier than he who loves My will in all things .Empty your heart of every other desire,and place your daily life in my hands. Work and pray and do all that is right and good for you.”
My Jesus,show me how to begin at last a life of obedience and loyalty to your will.Let me forget self and become more unselfish with those around me.How can I ever do what is wrong,knowing that it hurts me and offends you? I will try ,with your help,to live my daily life as a true and loyal follower of yours....You have proven your love for me in a thousand ways.I hope to prove my love for you by trying to act as you want me to act in my daily life.”
Jesus, transform me.In spite of my experience and knowledge, I am still the same selfish person.I don't find any change in life.It is really strange.O Lord, have mercy on me.I am helpless and weak.You alone can save me.I fall at your feet.Forgive me.There is no comparison between myself and others. I am miserable and contemptible. Be with me ,Lord, all the time in my life.
Feb.11,Tuesday
I am here at XIME.
Nothing serious has been done yet.Sini came here just now seeking to find a chance for the admission of his son.Have to talk to Dr.Nandagopal.Had tomato slices in the morning after the coffee. Will do some reading on Science.
From Daily Bread ,p.207
“ My loving Father,I am unable to do anything worthy of heaven unless your grace enlightens ,strengthens, and assists me in my thoughts,desires,words, and actions,only with your help can I do what you desire of me.Without your grace I am helpless against the slightest temptations.You yourself are my constant companion.With you I wish to walk safely each hour of the day toward heaven's eternal happiness.”
Feb,12,Wednesday
At Xime.In the morning,my meditation was on L.ch.20 where jesus speaks about the owner of vineyard going on a long journey , entrusting the vineyard to the tenants.When he sent his servants to collect his share , the tenats killed the servant.Three of the servant lost their lives.The son who was sent later was also killed.Through the parable , Jesus makes his listeners understand that they would be punished if they did not accept his mission .
Jesus is letting me know that my attachment should be to Him and not to anybody else.It is only through Jesus that I can enjoy peace, joy and forgiveness of sins.There should be only one person in my life and that should be Jesus.Nothing can make me unhappy or disturbed as long as Jesus is with me.My failures , weaknesses and sins do not matter so long as I remain attached to him.Thank you, Lord for your mercy and compassion.
p.245
“Lord,let your holy grace fall on this sinful heart of mine, so that I may love most what is most lovable,know best what is most important,and desire first what is most valuable.Let me fear and hate whatever draws me away from you.Teach me to pray.Help me to love your company and to seek it as often as possible,make me aware of your presence throughout the day.
Feb.15,saturday
Yesterday, went to SB College for the best teacher's award.spoke at the meeting. A short speech. No comments were received.
Today, gave a short talk to the teachers of St. Thomas college, Trichur. Their third batch. After the talk, the teachers began to raise questions about the academic system.
Talked to Abraham Kurien, He would be joining the Institute,
Thank you Lord, for giving me the opportunity to work.
Feb.16,Sunday
Reaching the middle of the month.Have not done much during these days except making a few trips to Chy. Today's meditation is on Ch.21 of LK—Jesus is instituting the Eucharist.Sharing his body and blood.His arrest and Peter's denial.
The most sorrowful and agony-filled days of Jesus are beginning.
The Eucharist is the source of our strength and support.We have led our lives with the Eucharist always before our lives, identifying ourselves with, immersing ourselves in the Eucharist. We participate in the mass to hear those words of Jesus on the bread and wine as his body and blood and to consume it in order to be transformed as God's children and to be forgiven of our sins.That is the most joyous occasion in our lives.Everyday we are getting purified and becoming worthy of standing in the presence of God.Jesus has forgiven the woman because she has loved Him much.Our love of the Lord wipes out our sins.
Yesterday when I spoke to the teachers, I spoke about the passionate love we should have of our subject.Mentioned Stephen Kovy's 'Sharpen Your saw.” Mentioned Francis Collins' work and the genome project and his quote that the unravelling a genome is an act of worship.Mentioned the Principle of Indeterminancy and the Tao of Physics.I mentioend Francis Collins in my talk at SB college too.
I mentioned Meena T.Pillai and her reference to the way I respected her in the grading of her paper.Mentioned also Jomy Thomas and how he was encouraged to write an article in the Deepika while discussing the encouraging of the talents of the students.
When I was addressing the students of St.Thomas, I spoke about the Manorama news of Biju and how I offered him admission.Mentioned the need to have dreams---a student's response about his dreams.Told them about the need to use the Library and developing proficiency in English language.
Gracykutty had an accident of breaking her finger while traveling with her friends in an auto. Kochumon is with her at the Medical trust hospital.May God be with her.
Had a short talk with Francis Chacko.Did take some notes on Galileo.Had a talk in the morning with Sajan and Jogy and Sajan asked whether I could do the betrothal ceremony on April 23. I hesitated to give a positive answer as we have the students' programme beginning on that date.But this would be the only marriage betrothal I would be able to attend in the US of our nieces.Will pray to the Lord to make the decision.
I had cornflakes bought from the Reliance for my supper.It was OK with me to have such a light supper.I have to spend more time with the Lord and feel his love in my bones.Jesus alone is my happiness.Lord, be with me and bless me.Intensify my love for you.
Feb.18,Tuesday
Lk 23---read the chapter on the crucifixion of Jesus and the words of the two thiefs to Jesus.Jesus told the good thief,you will be with me in paradise today in response to his request, Jesus ,remember me when you come into your kingdom.That is what I have to request Jesus everyday. Remember me Jesus when you come into your kingdom.Lord, have mercy on me and forgive me.I have fallen into ways that were detrimental to my spiritual life.You alone can wipe away my sins and save me.Lord, have mercy on me.
Feb.20,Thursday
Yesterday , went to Chy for the first memorial mass of Prof.KTS. I was the main celebrant and Fr. Kottaram sang for the mass. I gave the homily. It was a short homily but did not give many details.Visited Prof. Scaria Zacharia on my return with Varghese. Kariachan was weak and slow in movement but spent a little time with him reminiscing the past.He gave me two of his books,collections of his articles, which were recently published. Prof.Scaria has dealt with several facets of Kerala life, its literature, religions etc.One essay that I read dealt with an issue that I was also interested in which is on the lack of interest of the educated laity in the affairs of the Church. Those who are educated and intelligent keep their distance from the Church.It is the average type of people, intellectually undistinguished, that associate with the hierarchical set-up of the Church.the Chruch from the top to bottom is filled with the average.Those who question and challenge the worldly vision of th eleaders are kept at arms-length.This is is true of preists too.Those who are intelligent and have distinguished themselves through their intellectual contributions are kept away from notable positions of the Church.All need “Yes men.”
Today I am at XIME and will go to the Mount in the evening as they have a party to say farewell to the CMI team who are finishing up their term.
Yesterday went to Chy for the Navathy celebration of Abp.Powathil. Very few were the people who recognized me.Also the officials connected with it were more bothered about the new guests.I was forcefully invited by Kuttemperror to sit in a front row!Rekha came and greeted me and later I realized that she was one of the comperes. After a few speeches ,I left the place ,stopped en route at Alleppey and reached here by 8p.m. Had dosa at the Anugraha.The place is Ok. The meeting was an occasion to pour more accolades on Abp.Powathil.One thing is that he would take his responsibility seriously and he works through the people entrusted with the task. The meeting did not have the rigor of a well-coordinated assembly.
e.
In the Gospel from LK ch.18, Jesus speaks about the need for persistence of prayers like the widow and for the condition of our mind while praying.We have to be humble and open to trust in the providence of God like the tax collector.I have to pray to the Lord incessantly.I should not be worried about anything.God's forgiveness and his mercy will come into my life.The Lord has given whatever I want in my life.That is enough for me.What is required is deep prayer. Never be slack in prayers. I have to spend more time with the Lord.
Lord, I will spend more time before you.Increase my faith .Help me to be close to you and feel your presence.
Feb.9,Saturday.Went to the Mount .Met the Major Abp and had a little time for chatting.He said he saw me yesterday at the meeting.In the evening, went to Joseph and Leela's apartment.She prepared a well prepared evening high tea with Idiyappam,cutlet etc.Dr.George of the Spices Board was invited for it but he did not come.He would be leaving by March 8th.
Today is Sunday and I( will use the time to read Tony Joseph's book.A lot of it is the collection of theoretical discussions of the spread of African Human First people to different parts of the world through the study of the DNA.The DNA study some constant chromosome genes that go back to the first people in Africa in every human being. The first chapter is more theoretical and foundational on genetics for the study of human populations.He has taken a lot of effort in collecting the relevant materials and sifting them or the right information.
In today's meditation from Lk Ch.18, Jesus speaks about the need to detach from our wealth and to depend on God. It is hard for a wealthy person to go to heaven as it is difficult for a Camel to pass through the eyes of a needle.
Feb.9th,Sunday
Did not go any where. Ouseppachan from Thathampally came here to inform me that he would be the next Presidenti for Thathampally Church Perunnal. Offered him my support and prayers.
Nothing else was done.Took things lightly.Published Thomas and Reena's picture in my blog as well as in the Family What is app.
Feb.19,Monday
In today's Gospel reading from Lk.Ch.18
Jesus is going to stay with Zacheaus. His desire to Jesus makes him take great efforts to climb the tree to get a better view of Jesus.But ,Jesus sees his heart and his willingness to make a deep change in his life.Jesus' visit with him makes him reveal his innermost thoughts and his decision to make a dramatic change in his life.
Lord, come into my life and create in me a heart that is open to you.Let me make a deep change in my life.Let me be totally attached to you.
I still miss A as I don't have anyone to share my thoughts and feelings with.I have always in my mind the picture of her presence before the sickness and the old age crept into her when she was healthy and strong.She was willing to drive long distances .Now the only thing I have to do is to pray for her.May God grant her eternal rest.
I am at Xime.Sent my medical report to Jyothidev through Biju asking for the Doctor's evaluation.
It came to my mind in the morning that I should write everyday in the morning some reflections from “My Daily Bread”.
p.201
“No man is richer,no one is happier than he who loves My will in all things .Empty your heart of every other desire,and place your daily life in my hands. Work and pray and do all that is right and good for you.”
My Jesus,show me how to begin at last a life of obedience and loyalty to your will.Let me forget self and become more unselfish with those around me.How can I ever do what is wrong,knowing that it hurts me and offends you? I will try ,with your help,to live my daily life as a true and loyal follower of yours....You have proven your love for me in a thousand ways.I hope to prove my love for you by trying to act as you want me to act in my daily life.”
Jesus, transform me.In spite of my experience and knowledge, I am still the same selfish person.I don't find any change in life.It is really strange.O Lord, have mercy on me.I am helpless and weak.You alone can save me.I fall at your feet.Forgive me.There is no comparison between myself and others. I am miserable and contemptible. Be with me ,Lord, all the time in my life.
Feb.11,Tuesday
I am here at XIME.
Nothing serious has been done yet.Sini came here just now seeking to find a chance for the admission of his son.Have to talk to Dr.Nandagopal.Had tomato slices in the morning after the coffee. Will do some reading on Science.
From Daily Bread ,p.207
“ My loving Father,I am unable to do anything worthy of heaven unless your grace enlightens ,strengthens, and assists me in my thoughts,desires,words, and actions,only with your help can I do what you desire of me.Without your grace I am helpless against the slightest temptations.You yourself are my constant companion.With you I wish to walk safely each hour of the day toward heaven's eternal happiness.”
Feb,12,Wednesday
At Xime.In the morning,my meditation was on L.ch.20 where jesus speaks about the owner of vineyard going on a long journey , entrusting the vineyard to the tenants.When he sent his servants to collect his share , the tenats killed the servant.Three of the servant lost their lives.The son who was sent later was also killed.Through the parable , Jesus makes his listeners understand that they would be punished if they did not accept his mission .
Jesus is letting me know that my attachment should be to Him and not to anybody else.It is only through Jesus that I can enjoy peace, joy and forgiveness of sins.There should be only one person in my life and that should be Jesus.Nothing can make me unhappy or disturbed as long as Jesus is with me.My failures , weaknesses and sins do not matter so long as I remain attached to him.Thank you, Lord for your mercy and compassion.
p.245
“Lord,let your holy grace fall on this sinful heart of mine, so that I may love most what is most lovable,know best what is most important,and desire first what is most valuable.Let me fear and hate whatever draws me away from you.Teach me to pray.Help me to love your company and to seek it as often as possible,make me aware of your presence throughout the day.
Feb.15,saturday
Yesterday, went to SB College for the best teacher's award.spoke at the meeting. A short speech. No comments were received.
Today, gave a short talk to the teachers of St. Thomas college, Trichur. Their third batch. After the talk, the teachers began to raise questions about the academic system.
Talked to Abraham Kurien, He would be joining the Institute,
Thank you Lord, for giving me the opportunity to work.
Feb.16,Sunday
Reaching the middle of the month.Have not done much during these days except making a few trips to Chy. Today's meditation is on Ch.21 of LK—Jesus is instituting the Eucharist.Sharing his body and blood.His arrest and Peter's denial.
The most sorrowful and agony-filled days of Jesus are beginning.
The Eucharist is the source of our strength and support.We have led our lives with the Eucharist always before our lives, identifying ourselves with, immersing ourselves in the Eucharist. We participate in the mass to hear those words of Jesus on the bread and wine as his body and blood and to consume it in order to be transformed as God's children and to be forgiven of our sins.That is the most joyous occasion in our lives.Everyday we are getting purified and becoming worthy of standing in the presence of God.Jesus has forgiven the woman because she has loved Him much.Our love of the Lord wipes out our sins.
Yesterday when I spoke to the teachers, I spoke about the passionate love we should have of our subject.Mentioned Stephen Kovy's 'Sharpen Your saw.” Mentioned Francis Collins' work and the genome project and his quote that the unravelling a genome is an act of worship.Mentioned the Principle of Indeterminancy and the Tao of Physics.I mentioend Francis Collins in my talk at SB college too.
I mentioned Meena T.Pillai and her reference to the way I respected her in the grading of her paper.Mentioned also Jomy Thomas and how he was encouraged to write an article in the Deepika while discussing the encouraging of the talents of the students.
When I was addressing the students of St.Thomas, I spoke about the Manorama news of Biju and how I offered him admission.Mentioned the need to have dreams---a student's response about his dreams.Told them about the need to use the Library and developing proficiency in English language.
Gracykutty had an accident of breaking her finger while traveling with her friends in an auto. Kochumon is with her at the Medical trust hospital.May God be with her.
Had a short talk with Francis Chacko.Did take some notes on Galileo.Had a talk in the morning with Sajan and Jogy and Sajan asked whether I could do the betrothal ceremony on April 23. I hesitated to give a positive answer as we have the students' programme beginning on that date.But this would be the only marriage betrothal I would be able to attend in the US of our nieces.Will pray to the Lord to make the decision.
I had cornflakes bought from the Reliance for my supper.It was OK with me to have such a light supper.I have to spend more time with the Lord and feel his love in my bones.Jesus alone is my happiness.Lord, be with me and bless me.Intensify my love for you.
Feb.18,Tuesday
Lk 23---read the chapter on the crucifixion of Jesus and the words of the two thiefs to Jesus.Jesus told the good thief,you will be with me in paradise today in response to his request, Jesus ,remember me when you come into your kingdom.That is what I have to request Jesus everyday. Remember me Jesus when you come into your kingdom.Lord, have mercy on me and forgive me.I have fallen into ways that were detrimental to my spiritual life.You alone can wipe away my sins and save me.Lord, have mercy on me.
Feb.20,Thursday
Yesterday , went to Chy for the first memorial mass of Prof.KTS. I was the main celebrant and Fr. Kottaram sang for the mass. I gave the homily. It was a short homily but did not give many details.Visited Prof. Scaria Zacharia on my return with Varghese. Kariachan was weak and slow in movement but spent a little time with him reminiscing the past.He gave me two of his books,collections of his articles, which were recently published. Prof.Scaria has dealt with several facets of Kerala life, its literature, religions etc.One essay that I read dealt with an issue that I was also interested in which is on the lack of interest of the educated laity in the affairs of the Church. Those who are educated and intelligent keep their distance from the Church.It is the average type of people, intellectually undistinguished, that associate with the hierarchical set-up of the Church.the Chruch from the top to bottom is filled with the average.Those who question and challenge the worldly vision of th eleaders are kept at arms-length.This is is true of preists too.Those who are intelligent and have distinguished themselves through their intellectual contributions are kept away from notable positions of the Church.All need “Yes men.”
Today I am at XIME and will go to the Mount in the evening as they have a party to say farewell to the CMI team who are finishing up their term.
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Thank you 16
Jan. 5,Epiphany
I miss my friends very much these days.When I want to talk to someone , they are the ones I used to call.It is a reminder to me that life is transient and that I have to prepare myself for that end. A's picture waiting at the Paoli station comes to my mind often.After she has deteriorated in health, it is Jogy who comes to pick me up from her house. He also drops me there.Thampi and Ittyrachan also have dropped me there.It is God's decision that she should not suffer any more.
Jesus is telling me to put all my trust and faith in Him and never to wander away from Him.O Lord, be with me and strengthen me.
Monday,Jan 6
Went to Xime. When I reached there, I found that the students were all back after their vacation. There was a small celebration at 3p.m in recognition of the Best Director Award conferred on Dr.Nandagopal.
I am using the new allergy tablets from Costco.This morning I had a lot of sneezing etc but it looks like that it has subsided.
Jan.7,Tuesday
Today the retreat begins for the Bishops.Tomorrow is the National Strike.I may not go to Xime. I have to make calls to Bishops to remind them about the Inter-Church Council meeting.
Meditation on Lk. Ch.10—Good Samaritan and Martha and Mary.
Jesus praises Mary's decision to sit beside him to listen to his teaching.Martha is busy with preparations to host Jesus properly but still the non-working Mary is praised because of her decision to listen to his teaching.What is important is the time that we spend with Jesus. I do have to spend more time with Jesus, spending at least 30 minutes daily in my office room for prayer.I have to be with the Lord, thanking him and praising him .Nothing else is needed.Jesus will forgive my sins. I need God's help and his healing.
I have to learn everyday at least one saying of Jesus to repeat during my vacant hours on that day.
Today, the words I have to remember are the following: “One thing is needed.Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken away from her.”
Jan. 8,Wednesday
Public Strike.I would be going to XIME as today is not a bandh day and private vehicles would be on the road. Biju was asked to go to the Mount to call the Bishops for the Inter-Church Council meeting.
In today's meditation, Jesus is teaching the disciples the prayer, Our Father. In addition to teaching them the prayer, he asks them to persevere in their prayer and to ask God for anything they want. God will not deny our requests,just like a parent who accedes to the request of his son. In response to a woman's comment that the mother of Jesus is a blessed person, Jesus says that everyone who listens to him and follows him is his mother and relatives.
I have to be in constant contact with my Lord.The Lord is my life.
Lord, be with me. Forgive my sins. You are the joy of my life. Have mercy on me. When I look back on my life, I find so many instances of failure. In spite of my training and knowledge, how easily I have failed in my faithfulness to you, O Lord.
Jan.9, Wednesday
Today for meditation, Jn.14. A very beautiful Ch. The words Jesus spoke here should be my source of inspiration and life. Jesus is the way, the life and the truth. He tells us that if we ask Him anything in His name, He will do it.
Lord, your words are very consoling.I don't have to depend on anyone. You are my joy, peace and life. It is in you that I have to find joy. Oh, I will live in you and find my way in you. I don't have to look for my happiness in any person other than you. I have to trust and believe that you will forgive my sins and keep me beside you. I have to live with you in my heart and soul. Lord, thank you for revealing this truth to me. I have to find my rest and happiness in you.
This morning, will go to the Mount. Will say mass there, have an early lunch and go Ayavana for the funeral.
Jan.19,Friday
Yesterday went to the Mount, said the mass ,had early lunch and left for Kothamangalam. Reached there half an hour early and said the office. Waited there for the service to begin.
Today , reading from Jn.15 for meditation.Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. I have to be attached to Jesus in my thoughts and feelings.There should be nothing else in life that should draw away my attention from Jesus.A heart without any ill-feelings and totally focused on Jesus should be my aim in life.Will go to XIME in the morning and will have lunch at the Mount. Lord,I offer myself to you . Keep me in your love. Guide and direct me. Thank you for your blessings.You are my Lord and my life. Every moment that I have on earth will be spent for you.Lord, bless me.
I find that Fr.Mannarkulam passed away. I was thinking of going over to meet him but forgot all about it.God bless him.
Talked to Fr.Mattappally. He says he is the only surviving member in his family out of 11(including his parents.) I called to congratulate him on his article on Fr.Karukakalam in the Madhysthan.
Tomorrow when I go to Parel for the wedding, I will go to Nedumkunnam for viewing his body at 3p.m.
Today's paper carries the news that Biju's app has an investment of $8 billion.
I am at the Mount. Said mass at 2.45 p.m.It looks silent here. Maybe the Bishops are at their conference.I did not hear the sound of the bell.The nuncio is here.
I have to do some reading.
Jan.12.
Went yesterday morning to Chy . The wedding of Raju Kuttikal's son at 11 am at Parel Church. Gave the homily and concelebrated the mass.Fr.Roy and Fr.Philip were there for the ceremony. After lunch , went straight to Nedumkunnam and reached there by 2p.m. I called Fr.Koodathil before I left Parel.They gave me a room to rest and so I could lie down for an hour.The body was brought by 3.30p.m. I said an office along with Fr.Nirappel. On my return, stopped at Sr. Espirit's room ,saw her and prayed over her. She still can recognize and speak. Returned straight to Ekm.
Fr.Antony's departure was sudden in the sense that he was younger to me.He was sick for a couple of years. I did not have a chance to talk to him.I lost that opportunity.It was because of the classes I had at XIME. Otherwise, I could have found a day.Now, he is gone from our lives.I still see him as a young seminarian.
He was always affectionate, respectful and very courteous in his dealings with me.I should have helped him financially when he asked for help in the days when he was building up Sanjivany.I did not take his request seriously. He did a lot of work in constructing different places for those who are sick and marginalized.He was always jolly and fun-loving and treated all with respect. Discussed sometimes his dealings with the diocese. God bless him.We lost a kind-hearted and gentle priest.
Each one is given a gift in a different way. Each one has to develop that gift.I am not given the gift for construction but the gift of reading and communication. I have to read more and use my knowledge to speak about Christ without any diffidence.Nothing should deter me from speaking about the message of my Lord.The Lord has given me a Ph.D. in English.So why should I be diffident?Very few have that privilege.He has given me health and the means to buy books.Without feeling diffident, I should work to spread the message of Jesus.I should be bold and confident.Nothing should deter me from my work.I have only one work and nothing else.Use everything that I have to speak about Jesus.I have to leave when Jesus calls me. That is all. No diffidence before anybody.No authority ecclesiastical or otherwise does have any power over me.I have got whatever is needed in my life and ministry.I have still a lot of things to do for Jesus.I have to do all those things until the end of my life. Thank you,Lord, for inspiring me to make this resolution.
Today I finished reading the novel,The Sacrament. It is about a paedophile priest but is narrated in a subtle manner.The whole story is narrated by a sister who is sent as an investigator by a Cardinal from the Vatican. Since the sister is prevented from her investigations by the local Bishop and the Cardinal, the sister prepares the report and goes to the bell tower of the Church and seeing the priest at the top of the bell tower , repairing the bell, she pushes him through an open window and he falls to the ground , unseen by anybody except a boy who was locked in a closet in the school nearby. He doesn't see much clearly as he was confused by the sight. Very readable and one does not feel bored in any way. There are not many incidents or gripping narratives.
Watched a movie called “ Friends for Life” where a retired lawyer takes care of four wolf puppies who save him later.He was in grief because of his wife's death.Angel Raphael appears encouraging him and he gets over his grief and tries to do good for others. The last sentence he says in the movie.: "I heard the whisper of the wings."
His love for the wife and his grief over his loss are beautifully portrayed. A very good movie on Tubi.
Jan 13,Monday.
Will go to Xime and will read and write from there.
Reading a few pages from the book Making Choices by Peter Kreeft.
Jan.14,Tuesday
Will go to Xime and will give a call to Abraham Kurien. Will use the time to read of Kreeft's book.
Today , reading Jn.17 for meditation.Jesus is speaking about his unity with the Father and the unity of all believers with him and the Father. Today, I should spend more time in reflecting on my unity with the Lord.That sense of unity is the joy of my life and gives the confidence to overcome the fear that arises in my life.Lord, be with me at all times in my life.
Jan 16,Thursday-Inter-Church Council Meeting
A long ride from Kochi with Bp.Vaniapurakal in his car to Tvm.Reached there by 7.30pm.We started by 11.30.am.Stopped at Green Gardens for lunch and at Holy Cross Provincilate for coffee. Had a nice dinner with the Cardinal.Also there were a few French tourists. My phone does not work.I have to check with the idea -people after my return.
Lord, I thank you for giving me the chance to work still for you.I offer everything that I do for this meeting. Help me to speak for you and to work for you.
Jan.17, Friday
Said mass at the private chapel with Bp.Sebastian.Waited for more than an hour in my room for the breakfast.Again breakfast along with the Cardinal, Bp.Aprem and Bp.Awgin. Read the newspapers. Deepika has two reports about the meeting. Mathrubhoomi, I was told , carried the news. Didn't see anything in the Manorama .
My phone does not work in Tvm.I have to find out the reason.I cannot call anyone nor receive any calls.I am totally out of communication. My charge on the phone is getting weaker. the laptop is the only one working now. I have to accept these limitations. I have not brought any book for reading.I was under the impression that I could use my i phone. Now I have nothing with me that I can use during this time.I need just say the prayers and offer myself to the Lord.Thank you, Lord, for this time of silence in my life.
I have to spend my time with the Lord. That is all that I have to do now.
Jan,20,Monday.
Last night,Fr.Vincent called to tell me that the Feast of St. Sebastian would be celebrated next day morning and requested me to say a few words tomorrow about the two Sebastians in the community—the Bp and Fr.M.I tried to wriggle out of it but in the end, consented. I will be staying tonight at the Mount, hence, and will spend my time with them.I have to feel joyful in being part of the community. Will have to speak of all their good qualities.
I was meditating on ch.11 of Lk's Gospel where Jesus speaks about the vanity of wealth, trust in the providence of God and being ready for the final calling at any time in my life. O, Lord, those words are very appropriate to me and they speak directly to my mind which is often caught up in worries and vain thinking. What is required is to be ready for my call and also to be repentant always of my sins and failures. Now, nothing can be done with regard to the past. The past has happened and I cannot change it. But I can ask the Lord for forgiveness. In spite of my education and learning, I realize that those achievements did not help me to be morally upright always.It was so easy for me to slip and fall.I have to depend on the mercy of God. He has given me so much in spite of my failings. Lord, thank you and forgive me.
Jan.20,Tuesday
Last night-- went to the Mount and stayed there for the celebration of St.Sebastian's feast as I had to give a short message. Con-celebrated the morning mass.I woke up at 4.30 am and was present for the morning prayers. After the mass, we had breakfast. I had to give the speech right at the beginning before breakfast. Gave a short speech , praising both of them, using a story of Sheen on KISS. It was well appreciated. Also used, Festina, Lente to refer to Fr.Muttamthottiyil's style of life.
I was feeling very sleepy in the morning and could not do much. Thank You, Lord.
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Thank you ,11
Sept.20.Sunday
Went with Bp.Alappatt to Washington DC by car in order to participate in the laying of the foundation stone for the new Washington DC SM church.They acknowledged me as the founder of the community.Met a few of the community.A good number of priests were present. Fr.Punchayil was present.Had supper at the house of Aleyamma and Johnson.I returned around 12 midnight.It was a long ride up and down. Mr.Roy of NJ drove the car.
I miss the voice and guidance of A.I know in the last few months before her death, she was hospitalized from the fall at her house and hence was not helpful much in her guidance. She was such a tower of strength in the past, offering her advice and guidance.
Sept.25,Wednesday:
Just two more days for my return trip. I have to start packing. I am happy and peaceful.I have something to do when I get back. I have to work with the staff at XIME , organizing the programmes for the youth.
I have to continue my jottings.
Lord, increase in me the power of your presence. Help me to find peace in you. The doubts and worries in my life should no more bother me.Help me to understand the power of the sacrament of reconciliation.Once God has forgiven me through the power of the sacrament, I should never waver in my acceptance of the grace of forgiveness.The past is past.I have to move forward with confidence and joy.I will be getting opportunities to speak about Jesus.
In today's reading for the meditation, I read Lk,9,61. Jesus is my strength.He is my life.
In response to Jesus' request to follow him, some one wants to say good bye to his family.Jesus tells him that one who looks back after putting his hand on the plow is not worthy of the kingdom of God.Lord keep me with you and give me your joy and peace.
This morning,I spoke with KA Georgekutty as I found his call yesterday.He spoke about Mathaichan's(OFFICE) passing away after a surgery and complications at the Chethipuzha hospital. Mathaichan was a simple and gentle-hearted person.His daughters were employed in Germany as nurses and built a good house.God bless him and give him eternal rest. He was 78 years old.
I was reading the book,Give and Take , but it was not that interesting.The author is emphasizing the value of giving and not taking.Adam Grant, the author is a Professor at Wharton school of Business.
Another chapter is the power of powerless communication.Instead of being assertive, one can start from one's vulnerability.A giver starts with vulnerability.
Some of his concluding thoughts are the following:
“Personally,the successful people whom I admire most are givers, and I feel that it is my responsibility to try to pass along what I have learned from them.
Although many of us hold strong values,we are often reluctant to express them.p.256.
The more I help out,the more successful I become.but I measure success in what it has done for the people around me.p.256
This is what I find most magnetic about successful givers.They get to the top without cutting others down,finding ways of expanding the pie that benefit themselves and the people around them.
Givers advance the world.Takers advance themselves and hold the world back. p.256
We do a majority of our waking hours at work....by shifting ever so slightly in the giver direction,we might find our waking hours marked by greater success,richer meaning,and more lasting impact.p.259.
Spoke to Vakachan.Today is his birthday.Gave an update about chackochan's health.He will have to spend a few months in the rehab.God bless him.I will keep him in my prayers.
Jesus, help me to be close to you.Help me to read and understand the power of your words.Let those words become my life.
Jesus' prayer to the Father ; I praise you ,Father,Lord of heaven and earth,because you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned,and made them known to little children. Lk 10,22
Sept.27,Friday.
Last day here during this visit.Lord, help me to be closer to you.Forgive my offenses. Nothing important is there to do.Will spend more time, praying and reading.The Supreme Court is adamant in its decision for the demolition of Maradu apartments.A very distressing situation.
Thank you ,Lord for your blessings.
This evening, Joshy and Sunu came to take me out for a dinner at a Gk restaurant, Lethos. The food was good—I got salmon.They spoke about the need for a surgery for Sunu within a year. It is past midnight, getting ready for sleep.Tomorrow, will be leaving for the airport at 8am.
Sept.28,7.15 am.
Lord, I thank you for all the blessings given to me during the stay here this month. Could give two homilies and bore witness to your love.Lord, thank you for your love.I will always keep my love for you undiminished. You will always be in my heart.My actions and words will be filled with your spirit.I won't do anything that would in anyway diminish the love of others for you.I will never depend on anyone nor would try to ingratiate myself with any one for the sake of favors.I don't want any favors.You have given me enough opportunities to work freely and with dignity.I will always use them.I find joy in your presence.I will keep my devotion to the Blessed Mother with great fervor and love.My mother has sustained me and kept my faith in you beloved Lord.I pray for all the members of my family, my parents and brothers and sisters and the members of the family who are with you.I offer my prayers for A,J and Thy who are with you.Bless them and forgive them.Keep them in your love.I cannot forget how A was a source of blessing for me, guiding me and praying for me.She used to lavish me with gifts whenever I came here.Bless her.
Thank you.Lord for your love.
Sept.29,Monday.
I returned last night.The flight was OK.The customs clearance, baggage clearance and check -in were smooth because of the wheel chair assistant.He did everything very nicely.In that way one of my worries was solved.Thank you , Lord for your kindness. Went to the Lounge in Bombay and stayed there for three hours.At Kochi , a lady took the baggage and put it in the trolley.
Varghese called me to say that the Arcbishop has taken charge as the Manager and appointed Fr. Padaith as the interim manager of SB college.
Lord, I thank you for giving me this time again.I will spend my time in prayers.Jesus is the Lord of my life.
I have to find joy until the end of my life in the power and the presence of Jesus.I will not put any trust in anything else.Jesus alone is enough.I know He will not abandon one who loves him.
Oct,1,Tuesday 1.30 am
I am not sleeping.I had a short nap after supper. I did go to XIME and Kakkand.I think I will go to Kakkanad everyday after 4p.m to say mass.I can spend some time in adoration too. This is an opportunity God has given me.I will continue my walks and spend my time in prayer.
Lord, every day, I offer all those intentions of my friends and relatives to you.Bless them and be with them.Protect them.I remember all my late friends, relatives and parents and offer all of them to you.Protect them , save them and give them eternal happiness. I have no meritorious deeds to offer to you.I am a sinner and have lost all the opportunities you gave me. I am alive now because of your protection.Thank you Lord for your love. The priests are going to Munnar and they have asked me to say mass on Oct.3rd,Thursday.I have to stay there on Oct.2 night.
Oct.2,Gandhi Jayanthi Day
Today is a public holiday,No class at XIME.I did not have to go to the Curia for mass as Fr.Vincent does not plan to go.Since I don't have anything to do, I went to Alleppey to say an office for Ammachi.Philip was there to help.He told me that the Accountant Mathew Kuracherry's wife was sick and hence I comforted him.
Reached Ekm by 3.30p.m.
Oct.3,Thursday
Lord, thank you again for your love and protection.Help me to pray and spend my time in your presence.I am slowly getting over my travel fatigue.For the last couple of days, there was a sense of slow movement but now I am getting over it.It is now 9.30 p.m.I am trying to avoid falling asleep.The travel fatigue is slowly disappearing.I have to thank the Lord for His innumerable blessings.I realize the power of psalms now.They are great expressions of love and gratitude.They offer us a way to be close to God through praise and love.God, I offer myself and all those who are related to me through family and friendship to your protection.
Oct.4,Friday
Today is Ammachi's death anniversary. Ammachi passed away on Oct.4th,1988.God bless her.She kept me in her prayers everyday.I feel unworthy of that love and prayers but those prayers have kept me from falling into great dangers.Thank you Lord; protect her.
The mass was said at St.Martin's. I could say mass well because of the good mike system.I did not have to raise my voice. Ria sang all the songs for the mass.We gathered after the mass for lunch at Mathaichan's house.Thunder and lightning now.Turned off TV and the internet.
Nothing else is there to write about.I am slowly getting over the jet fatigue.
Oct .7,Monday
Thank you Lord for this day.I woke up around 3 am and began to read Faith and Reason.The essay by Peter Kreeft was very good—he describes his conversion to Catholicism from his Dutch Calvinist Church upbringing.This book deals with the conversion stories of a few modern American philosophers.Tells how they all CAME TO THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.
Peter Kreef has an essay titled “Why” because from his early years he was always asking Why.He was not a rebel but an explorer and wanted to know the reason for everything.It brought him to reading the Church Fathers especially their treatment of the Eucharist.Abandoning the Eucharist was the failure of the Protestant denominations, according to Kreeft. So also is their antipathy to Tradition. He realizes that the NT was the product of the Tradition.With regard to Mary, he notes that as Jesus is our medicine for salvation,Mary received the preventative medicine while we receive the healing medicine.
This morning, I read the passage from the Gospel of Mathew where the two blind men were calling out to Jesus to heal them.It is a lesson for me to call out to Jesus daily in my life to heal me. I cannot live without being close to him.I want to be healed by Him , to be forgiven by Him and to be guided and supported by Him.
Lord, be with me .
I was reimbursed by the insurance and I never thought that they would reimburse me the expenses I incurred for my eye surgery.
Since there is no internet service here at Xime, I cannot do anything on online.
Oct.8,Tuesday.Pooja holiday at Xime
I will be going to the Mount and will stay there for the retreat.Will go to Xime tomorrow from there.I will spend more time in the chapel today.God has given me a little time and I have to use it in prayers.From today on wards, I have decided to spend at least two hours and more in prayers..Just be in the presence of the Lord.I have no long prayers.Will say , I love you Lord and forgive my sins.Bless those whom I have hurt through my thoughts, words and actions.
Today in the Gospel of Mathew, I read the passages on Jesus' entry into the Temple and Jesus' cursing of the fig tree.He tells the disciples that with faith,they can do anything.What is needed is total faith in the Lord. If our faith is strong, even mountains will be moved from their places.
O Lord, increase my faith.Help me to be strongly attached to you.You are the joy of my life.I have faltered and deviated from my paths.Now the journey is going to end.Many of my friends who were close to me have departed.I have very people with whom I can engage in conversation.The recent deaths of A,Thuruthmaly and Kazkukachalil have taken away from me persons with whom I could enter into conversations freely and unabashedly. Lord, be kind to me.
Friday, March 13, 2020
Thank you-3
Lord, thank you for time given to me. Today, I did some reading on writing memos and reports.There are not many with whom I can talk now.
Fr.Thuruthmaly and Fr Jose were very companionable and I could talk with them freely. Well, it is the will of God for them to leave the earth.
Their lives and achievements were over.It is the same with every one.My time is also coming closer.There is no way one can live for ever.It is a fact of life that it should be over.I have to accept that and find my joy and peace in the Lord.
I miss A as she would be offering very sensible advice.But when she became aged and full of pain, she was always in her complaining mood.
I am now listening to music on chrome cast.
I have to find my joy and peace in Jesus.I have to follow the examples set by the lives of Ouseppachan and Josachan. When I think of my life, I feel ashamed of my failures and weaknesses.But Jesus offers us hope.He himself has asked us to show mercy and forgiveness without any reservation.The Lord is giving us mercy and forgiveness without any limit.Thank you,Lord.
June 22, Saturday
I spent a few minutes in the Chapel.What I have to do is to spend Saturdays with the Lord, in the Chapel.Nothing else is to be done.If I have nothing else to do, I should come here and spend the time before the Bl.Sacrament.
I have not done much except writing down some notes on writing memos.But that is OK. What is important is spending time with the Lord.I will do more writing too on communications.
Sunday-June 23
I did not do much today except going to the church to say the mass privately. I have collected the papers necessary for the cataract surgery.
I will go for the laser, if it is available there.
Lord, give me the strength and confidence to do everything for you.I know I don't have any public platform to work on. Of course, even if I get any official posting, I am beyond the age where I can be employable.Look at the lives of Ouseppachan and Joseachan. Before their dreams were fulfilled, they left their lives here. I could not say any parting words to Ouseppachan. It was all sudden.I could not visit him as the driver was unavailable at that time.I have to remmebr them in my prayers.That is all I can do.I just have to say the prayers, continuously. The Lord is my help and strength.
Lord, be with me.Be my strength and hope.I shall not feel any diffidence. Today, in the Gospels, I read the words of Jesus asking the disciples to be like children since they were discussing who was the greatest among them.
Lord, take away all those feelings from me.Make me accept my present status in life and help me to do whatever that is needed to deepen my faith.I see how transient life is.What is important is to remain close to Jesus.Lord, have mercy on me.
I offer everything to the Lord.
No one to talk to and there is no one who would understand what I have to share. Of course,It is time for all to pass away.What I should be doing is to prepare myself for the coming life.Accept it when it comes.Make myself pure before God.I have to depend on the mercy and the kindness of God.
O Lord, I have no idea how it happened that I was running away from you in spite of all that you gave me.Henry Nouwen's words gave the right advice that I was looking for.I should never doubt the unlimited forgiveness and mercy of the Lord.
Thank you Lord, for your kindness.
Monday,June 24
Graded a few of the papers that the students wrote.The Canteen is off for a week.When I went to the pantry, there were no meals.
June 25,Tuesday
Tonight the sisters will be given an official farewell.I will be staying at the Mount as tomorrow there is a mass for Fr. Chiramel.
The sisters were very helpful and kind.They took care of the priests very well. Sr. Kochurani, the mother, was helpful to all.God bless them. I thought of buying crosses and rosaries for them but I did not get time for it.
I have to find joy and peace in my life by spending my time in prayers.Jesus is everything for me.I don't have to look for peace anywhere else.Today, in the Gospel of Mathew, I read about the words of Jesus in Mt.18 on divorce and remarriage.The Lord is very definitive on the unity of marriage.The Gospel also mentions the blessing of the children by Jesus.
Jesus, bless me and keep me under your protection.
I was just reading a few passages from the book on prayers of Rahner. His section on the last words of Jesus, especially the words, everything is finished, is very inspiring. I have used them w r to Chakochan Vanayamparampil's life at his memorial mass, earlier, without being aware of the interpretation of Rahner. What we can say at the end of our life is the same: Everything is finished.It does not mean that we are perfect but that the time is over and that we need the mercy and forgiveness of the Lord.Nothing else can be done on our part.We had our sins and failures.Our weaknesses did not allow us to overcome our failures.We succumbed to them.Only God's mercy can save us.We have to depend on him. Rahner also expatiates on the words of Jesus to His mother by telling Jesus to hand us over to His mother.She is our powerful intercessor.As she was with Jesus at all the moments of His life, she should be with us.She walked all the way from Nazareth to Jerusalem , stayed where he stayed, and was present at all the important moments of His life .She never intruded upon His life.She was present at the foot of the cross.She absorbed everything.Later , she was with the Apostles in the Upper Room, spending days in prayer.
O, Mother , have mercy on me.Even after I have reached this period of my life which is the most that one can reach in life, I have the same weaknesses and failures that I had in my younger years.Have mercy on me.Pray for me and walk beside me.
I just spent a couple of hours in the room ,taking lunch, having a nap and watching TV. But, now I am at the office. Since I cannot read books because of the small letters, I have to spend my time somehow.
I have to reflect on the Gospels and the psalms and note down my reflections.I can use my time in that way.
3.30p.m.--
George Paul came and told me about the official inauguration of the academic year on July 1st with a mass at 8am.I told him that I would have a cataract treatment on June 29 but I would have get some other priest for the mass.
Lord, help me to praise and adore you.You are the joy of my life. I have to pray and be close to you.
Tomorrow, the mass will be offered for Fr.Jose Chiramel.Can't believe that he is no more with us.He is with the Eternal Father, with Jesus and Mary.Lord keep him beside you.Have mercy on us who are here , sinful and sorrowful and forgive my sins.
Happy news for the Cardinal.God bless him.The prayers have been heard.He is going to be reinstated.
Tomorrow, I am going to meet the doctor with the blessing sof the Lord.
June 26-Wednesday
The mass for Fr.Jose Chiramel was over. Took part in the con-celebration. The family was here. Met all of them. Roy Chacko and Renjan Chacko were here. Renjan spoke in his speech about Fr.Chiramel's references to me.
Will be going to Xime and will go to the doctor's from there.
Went in the afternoon to Garidhar with Johnachan.
Almost two hours.Decided to have the laser treatment ,coming to more than Rs.80,000 .
Next two days, drops of medicine on the left eye.
June 27-Thursday
Read the news in Chy diocese What is app about the passing away of Fr.Koottummel. He always looked healthy.How soon everything is over with him.We joined the seminary together and he was our assistant parish priest when I was a seminarian.He was at Thathampally when Achayan passed away.So, he might have been at Thathampally at my first mass.God bless him.Did not have a chance to talk to him recently.Funeral is on Friday at 9.30 am at Nazreth.
In today's Gospel ,Mat 29, I read Jesus's entry to Jerusalem and of cleansing the Temple.I have to allow myself to be touched by Jesus and be cleansed by him.Narrow-mindedness fills my mind.I have to cleanse myself by asking the pardon of the Lord.I have to depend on him totally and sing always Hosanna , welcoming him every moment in my life.Without the presence of Jesus, I won't have any joy and peace in my life.
From 8 am today on wards , I have to take the drops for my eyes every four hours.
God grant eternal rest to Fr.Koottummel.
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
Visit to the USA,2019
Thank you-6
August-2,Friday
Lord, thank you for this
day.Let me use this day in praising you.
I don't have to think of
achieving anything specially.
What is needed is to remain in the Lord, praising
him. The peace in my heart comes from my being united with the Lord. The Gospels and the
psalms are enough to give me joy and peace of mind.
O,Jesus , bless me.Thank you
again.
Today in the Gospel of Luke, I read the part where Jesus sends the 72 disciples for preaching.What is
emphasized is the duty of preaching.Never to think of any conveniences or
appurtenances.The Lord will provide everything that is needed.We are asked to
focus on the teachings of the Lord.
I did not do any reading
today.
I will
spend the time in devoting myself to you ,Lord.There will be only You in my
life.As the Imitation of Christ says, once we have Jesus , we don't have to worry about anything.
Pity, there is nothing for me
to do!Well, whatever I have done is enough.
In Holy Father's book on
God is Mercy, there is an important passage that is relevant to my thoughts
on sinfulness:
“Recognizing oneself as a
sinner is a grace.It is a grace that is granted to you.Recognizing oneself as a
sinner is something else. It means standing in front of God who is our
everything,and presenting him with our selves which are nothing,our miseries, our sins.(p.45)
“The Church fathers teach us that a shattered
heart is the most pleasing gift to God.It is the sign that we are conscious of
our sins,of the evil we have done,of our wretchedness, and of our need for
forgiveness and mercy.(p.44)
Only he who has been
touched and caressed by the tenderness of his mercy really knows the Lord.For
this reason I have often said that the place where my encounter with the mercy
of Jesus takes place is my sin.(p.48)
A priest needs to think of his own sins, to listen with tenderness, to pray to
the Lord for a heart as merciful as his, and not to cast the first stone
because he too is a sinner who needs to be forgiven.(p.61)
The most important thing in
the life of every man and every woman is not that they should never fall along
the way.The important thing is always to
get back up,not to stay on the ground licking your wounds.
The Lord of Mercy always
forgives me; he always offers me the possibility of starting over.He loves me
for what I am. He wants to raise me up and he extends his hand to me.
One of the tasks of the
Church: to help people perceive that there are no situations that they cannot
get out of.For as long as we are alive it is always possible to start over, all
we have to do is let Jesus embrace us and forgive us.(p.82)
God forgives everyone, he
offers new possibilities to everyone, he showers his mercy on every one who asks
for it.We are the ones who do not know how to forgive.p.112
Family—the place where we
learn to get up after a fall
Family is the hospital
close to us when someone is sick, he is cared for there.
Family is the first school
for the children
Family is the best home for
the elderly
The first school of
mercy where we are forgiven and learned to forgive. (p.123)
August 3,Saturday
I am at Mt .St.Thomas.Spent some time in the Chapel , thanking the Lord for his blessings
and asking him to bless my family and friends.
I have just begun reading Sheen's
“Lift up Your Heart” to get some inspiring thoughts.
Sheen has the following to say
about the building of character.
“Everyone in the world is
defeated in one area of life or another....we all have to accept failure;we do
not have to lament it.
No false optimism...the Christian
has never expected the earth to be his paradise.
The first step in character
training is to discover what is worst in us.
The blessedness of temptations
is twofold.It reveals the weak spot in our character and the same temptation
gives us an occasion by refusing to submit to it.
Earth does not reveal its
harvest without plowing,nor the the minds their treasure without study, nor
nature its secret without investigation.
The defect may become our
greatest strength. p.125
The greatest sinners sometimes
make the greatest saints...
The convents and monasteries
are full of potential devils---saintly souls who could have been very wicked
men and women, if they had not corresponded to God's grace. p.125
Moses was hot tempered but he
became meek.
Two attitudes are possible in
sin—we can fall down and get up; or we can fall down and stay there.
Should be positive—cultivation
of virtues, more than the eradication...
Whoever is charged with
character formation will do well to lay hold of what is best in people,searching
for the gold and not the dross.There is some good in everybody.
In dealing with ourselves , we
should look for what is worst and make it with God's grace, the occasion of
spiritual growth.But in dealing with others, we should look for what is best,
in order that,as we show mercy to others,God may show the grace of His mercy to
us.p.133
August 4,Sunday
Went to Kanjrappally for
Tomy's sister , Sr.Vimala's golden jubilee.I was given the role of the main
celebrant. Karichan sang for the mass. Fr.Johny Puthiaparampil (Kattapana) was
one of the con celebrants. At the congratulatory meeting after the mass, I was
given the chance to make a short speech.Spoke about the article of Sr.Libby
Osgood's decision to become a nun after giving up her job at the NASA as well as
at the University where she was working after taking a Ph.D. in Mechanical
engineering.Also went to Karikattuparmpil house and met their mother.The trip
went OK.
Saw the movie on St.Peter on
You Tube.The movie was good...graphic.Nero condemning Peter to be crucified.
Lord, have mercy on
me.Increase my faith and let me feel totally dependent on you.You are the joy
of my life.
August 5,Monday
Read Mathew Ch.7 which is to
be read more often.So soothing and consoling.It speaks about the changes that
should be made in our lives.Never judge.Be kind in our opinions of
others.Remove selfishness from our life.Ask the Lord for everything that is
needed in our life.God is our kind Father and he will give us whatever we ask
for.Knock , it will opened.Seek, it will be found.Those who listen to him are
people who built their house on the rock.A tree is known by its fruit.Good
trees make good fruit.
O Lord, have mercy on me.Help
me to become a dear follower of yours.Never do I have to feel diffident.There
is more to be done.More reading and writing are needed.
Jesus is my strength and in him I should find my happiness and joy.Today, I will write more notes and use my time well.
Jesus is my strength and in him I should find my happiness and joy.Today, I will write more notes and use my time well.
Lord,thank you.
The Eighth Habit: Stephen
Covey
Inspire others to find their
voice.
Remember, anytime your
emotional life is a function of someone else's weaknesses, you dis-empower
yourself and empower those weaknesses to mess your life up.
When we see people separately
from their behavior, we affirm their unconditional worth.
Leadership is the capacity to
translate vision into reality—Warren Bennis
Only the disciplined are free;
the undisciplined are slaves to moods.
Family Life.
Speaks of his wife's “abundance
mentality” that allows him to spend time with his mother and others.
According to him, the most
important work you do in the world will be within the walls of your home.” “No
other success can compensate for failure in the home.”
“Parenthood is the most
important leadership responsibility in life and will provide the greatest
levels of happiness and joy.
When true
leadership—vision,discipline,passion and conscience—is not manifested in
parenthood, it will provide the greatest source of sorrow.”
Burke: “All that is necessary
for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”
Because we all make mistakes,
we all need to forgive and be forgiven.
Affirm people .Affirm your
children.believe in them,not in what you see but in what you don't see—their potential.
Lord, thank you for these
ideas.Help me to reflect on them and put them into practice. I will continue
writing and reflecting in order to bear witness to you.
The news has come on TV that
the Central Govt has abolished the special place given to Kashmir.The RS passed
it.They got the advantage of a split opposition in the RS.
If the judiciary does not
become strong, there is no way for people holding different ideologies from BJP
will get any help.
Aug.7,Wednesday
Lord, thank you for your
blessings.I will reflect your love and mercy.I am a sinner but I am alive
because of your forgiveness.
From today on wards, I will
reflect on the psalms one by one.
Walter Kasper's book,'A Celebration of Priestly Ministry” has some meaningful comments on the Eucharist.
“Eucharist—the center and
summit of the life of the post-Easter Church.The celebration of t he Eucharist
will renew in each priest his strength , his courage and his joy.
There is no repetition of the
Sacrifice on the Cross in the Eucharist.
That which was done once and
for all on the cross becomes really present here and now.(P.154)
The priest ought to live and
do what he says, and to be what he does.He ought to live the Eucharist not only
to celebrate it.And he ought to live it in solidarity with all those in his
parish and in the whole world who are burdened down and bear the cross.( P.159)
Theologically speaking,it is
obvious that the celebration of the Eucharist is the heart and center of the
priest's existence, since all his other tasks
either lead up to the mass or are derived from it.
The celebration of the
Eucharist is not only a goal and center; it is also a point of departure, the
source of the power to carry out our mission.
Eucharistic communion must
teach us a culture of sharing, of solidarity, and of fraternity.The celebration
of the Eucharist must be a school of love of our neighbor.
The Eucharist must be the
center and the source of meaning in our lives. p.161.
Lord, thank you for this
teaching on the Eucharist.I have to begin my daily life from the Eucharist and
to see everything that I experience daily in my life through the Eucharistic
love of Jesus which consists in self-giving through love.Lord, change my heart
and help me to feel one with you.
I am weak and helpless.You
alone can empower me and give me the spiritual strength to overcome it s power.
Today I will start reflecting
on the psalms.That will be my way of keeping myself unified with you.Whatever
may be my occupations or travels, I will spend my time with you.
Psalm 150
Praise the Lord.Praise God in
his sanctuary
Praise him in his mighty
heavens
Praise him for his mighty
deeds
The entire psalm is a request
to praise the Lord.We should repeat the psalm or at least its ideas,praising the
Lord.Once we open our hearts and minds in praising God, we experience a sort of
spiritual calm breeze blowing gently over our mind and heart , giving us
peace.Yes, in times when our hearts are troubled, we have to sing this psalm
until the tempests in our heart become calmed down.Lord, I praise and thank
you.Be with me all the time.
Aug.8,Thursday
I read Mathew ch.13 where
Jesus is seen healing a crippled man and asking him to stretch out his hand.I
have to ask the Lord to heal me and stretch out the broken parts of my life.My
sins have broken my body and I need the working of the Lord in my life.Be with
me Jesus.Transform me.You are the joy of my life.I believe in you and trust in
you.Be with me. Yesterday I shared a saying of Isaiah on my face book page:
“When you pass through the
waters,I will be with you;and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm
you;when you walk through fire, you shall not be burned, and the flame shall
not consume you. Is.43 :2
“Above all keep loving one
another earnestly,since love covers a multitude of sins. “1 Pt 4:8
Psalm.149
Praise the Lord!
Sing to the Lord a new song,
his praise in the assembly of
the godly...
let them praise his name with
dancing
making melody to him with
tambourine and lyre..
This psalm revels in praising the Lord.There is an unabashed joy in offering praise to the Lord.Praising and
the thanking the Lord are the best ways in keeping in touch with the Lord.When
we praise the Lord, our hearts become lighter and free from selfishness and
arrogance.Our hearts become filled with joy and the power of evil forces becomes
defeated.
Lord, lift my heart and help
me to thank and praise you.
Today Mr. Santosh gave a class
on how to prepare an outcome based course preparation.We have to be
clear and specific in what we are going to do with the course.It should be
generic and action oriented.The purpose of the course is to make the students become thoroughly conversant with the subject.
He also discussed the Bloom
methodology.
Aug 9,Friday
It has been raining all
night.There should be the possibility of many regions of Kerala getting
submerged under water,Flooding and destruction of property are possible.Lord, save everyone from mortal
dangers.
This morning, I read Mt ch.13 where Jesus speaks in parables—the
parables of the sower, weeds,mustard seed, leaven, hidden treasure in a field
highlighting the importance of the the kingdom of God and the need to keep and
preserve it.Lord,give me the grace to be a person who lives for the kingdom of
God and help me to preserve it.
Aug.10,Saturday
It was raining last
night.Things might be difficult for many people.So many might have lost
their homes.
Praying is the most important
thing that I can do.Lord, bless me.
I was searching for the Latin
version of “ you are dust and unto dust you will return” :—Gen.3:19; Ecc.3:20
“Pulvis es et in pulverem
reverteris.”
Peacock—symbol used in old Venice-it represents eternity.
Christianity adopted it as a
symbol of eternity, immortality, resurrection.
It was believed in Gk legends
that the flesh of peacock would not decay after its death.
Psalm 148
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord from the
heavens;
praise him in the heights!
Praise him all his
angels;Praise him all his hosts
praise him sun and moon
This psalm asks every being or
thing to praise the Lord.It is a loud and joyous celebration of the
name of the Lord for his protection .In moments of loneliness and sorrow, the
singing of the psalm will soothe the pain in our hearts.When we raise our
hearts to the Lord in gratitude, we become filled with peace and calmness in
our hearts.
We praise you ,Lord.We adore
you.
Bloom's taxonomy of knowledge
, of measuring the level of teaching.Six categories.
RUA2EC
Remembering,Understanding,Applying,Analyzing,Evaluating
and Creating.
I did not do much today.Just
spent time here doing little things.Have not done any serious reading.
Aug.11 Sunday
O Lord, thank you for this
day.Kerala is roiling in the aftermath of the flood.So many have lost their
lives or their property, house or members of their families.Lord, have mercy on
them.
Ps.147 (He heals the broken-hearted)
Praise the Lord. Praising .For it
is good to sing praises to our God
for it is pleasant, and a song
of praise is fitting.
The Lord builds up Jerusalem
He gathers the outcasts of
Israel,He heals the broken- hearted
and binds up their wounds.
The Lord lifts up the
humble;he casts the wicked to the ground.
Again in this psalm we hear a
magnificent outburst of God's praises.God protects all and supplies them with
the bounties of nature.He prerserves the Universe with all its gifts for the sake
of man and hence wants all to praise the Lord for his gifts.
Aug13,Tuesday
The rains stopped for the time
being.A lot of lives were lost and property was destroyed.People are living in
temporary shelters.It is a great tragedy.It is people who live in the High Ranges and hills that lost their lives.People have to be
moved from those places.
Today,I will use my time in
praising the Lord.If I feel sleepy during day time, I will go to my room and spend my time in prayers or saying the
mass.I have to be firmly rooted in my faith and love of Jesus.In times, I feel
diffident, I have to raise my hearts in prayer and repeat the name of Jesus.
I am now alone. My Jesus is with me; that is my consolation.
Last night ,Tom came with his
wife, Leena, to invite me for the wedding at Chy.
Lord, I offer myself to you.I
don't have to look for anybody's help.I have to stick with Jesus and do
everything to spread his love and compassion.My mind should be free of all vain
thoughts.
Aug.14,Wednesday
Today, I held the first class
for the senior students for a batch of 14 students.They were very
receptive.They are more concerned with pronunciation,accent, intonation etc. I
have to prepare myself for it.Otherwise, I have not done much personal reading.
I have to do some reading again.It was easy for me speaking about correct
grammar and skills of communication. But here
there should be more detailed descriptions.
Psalm 146—Put not your trust in princes
This psalm urges one not to
put one's trust in men but in God. Men die and return to the earth.God is
everlasting.He takes care of the poor and the lowly and hence we are asked to
put our trust in the Lord.”Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,whose
hope is in the Lord his God, who made heaven and earth ...who keeps faith
forever.” I have to put my trust in the Lord and live in the shadow of his love
and protection.I have to feel confident and happy.I should not allow diffident
feelings to take over me.
Lord, thank you for your love
and compassion.
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