Thank you ,21

Thank you, 21
March 31,Monday
I called Rosy, the wife of Bavuk to offer my prayers and condolences.It is her daughter who took the call first and then at my request handed over the call to Rosy.I spoke with her for a few minutes.She mentioned that Bavuk was very active until the last moment of his life.There was a surgical procedure a month ago and from that time onward, his condition was turning worse.God bless him.
.My stomach  was upset because of the stale milk   that was used in  the morning tea and  is still creating trouble .I had only arrow root porridge for supper. I hope it will disappear as it is not as strong as last time's.I have to be very strict with myself and never to take any food that I feel suspicious  about.My stomach is very sensitive. I hope I will get over this.
I watched a movie on chrome cast. I forget this word often.
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I called Lal at the college and told him to borrow Rs.2000 from anyone and that I would reimburse him.
The death count in US is going beyond 3000. The Virus is not abating---increasing all over the world.
April 1,Wednesday.

Biju brought the tab lets(I got the prescription miraculously after midnight, during my second search of the drawer—Thank you,Lord.) and  took one and I feel more relaxed and at peace.Gave his salary and also sent a message to Fr.Regi to give Rs.2000 to Lal , the sweeper.I am glad that I could do this to one who is suffering from financial hardship.
This morning, I had a call from the MABP telling me that he got the condolence message and that it was written well. I just did it for the Lord. I am glad that it was appreciated.Lord, thank you for your blessings.
I have to be extremely careful about the meals and drinks I take.Last night was a horrible night.
It is now 3,30 p.m. I feel OK in the sense that there was no stomach disturbance. Thank you Lord for your blessing.I will spend my time in more prayers.Will say the mass soon,
Will read Nouwen's reflections on Lent.
Apri 2,Thursday
I am Ok by the grace of God.Received calls from Thommachan and Johnachan and Lelamma.Will do more writing and reading.Will finish more sections of OB.Thinking of A very often.Through her loss, I lost a great connection and a source of conversation.I know I won't get a person like that in my life.A chapter that is closed for ever.Just before the last few months of her life, she led a very active life.The fall in her room and the stay in the hospital made her very weak and incapacitated.She had to depend on others for everything.I am wondering what they have done with the house and what Franky is doing. She has left them enough money so that none of them would have any problems.The connection with the family is gone and it is not proper for me to be in touch with them.God bless her.I should continue praying for her.
The only other persons  who are in contact with me are Karen and Peter (and his friend Merdel.)
It is 3.15 pm.I was reading news on the computer as I did not get any siesta.
This morning, my meditation was from Lk: 11 where Jesus speaks about prayer and the need to persist in prayers.Just like the man in the parable who because of the persistence of his friend, opened the house to give bread to his  friend, we should be asking the Lord persistently to respond to our prayers.This is the answer to my prayers.I should not be worried about my failures and sins.I should ask the Lord for forgiveness non-stop and he will grant me the forgiveness.That is what he taught us.He who taught us to avoid sins has also asked us to pray for forgiveness.Therefore, we should not be worried.We should experience peace in our lives.
April 3,Friday
I don't feel very energetic today.A feeling of tired ness.I thought of spending today for prayers.Attended the teleconfernce of theXIME for half an hour.Their discussion was on the on -line courses they should be taking and also on the dates of conducting exams.
Last night , the Cardinal and the priests spoke about the stimulus payment from the US and asked me whether I got it.Told them that nobody had got it.Adoppally mentioned something about this to the fathers.
O Lord, be with me.Forgive me and forgive all others.Have mercy on the world.Wipe away the virus from the fac of the earth.When I am silent, all my past failures come to mind and I wonder how it was possible for me to fail in such a miserable way.Lord, have mercy on me.I am not worthy of your call.I know you are merciful and kind and that you wound not reject my prayers.
April4,Saturday
Tomorrow is Palm Sunday.I will stay here and spend more time in prayer.Praying is all that is needed in my life.My Lord has given me time to repent and ask for forgiveness.I don't have to feel bored or dispirited.This is going to be  a grace-filled week.I can just reflect on the life of Jesus and think of the changes that I have to bring about inmy life.
I have often spent time preparing for homilies.Jesus entering the inner halls of my life and walking on the paths that I have traced in my life.When Jesus walks over the crooked paths of my life,there is the straightening of my life.O Lord, come into my life.Take away the burden of my sins and allow me to shout Hosanna with you riding on the donkey through the crooked paths  of my life.Lord, change me and make me a new  person.I cannot change the crooked curves of my life but you can change.Make me a new person.
This evening, I watched on Youtube a movie called Perfect Prayer where everyone receives forgiveness.The story is plausible  but very sad.The daughter of a woman married to a black preacher has  a  daughter from his father's  molestation of her in her teen years.The daughter does not know and the black preacher does not know the story.But the preacher began also molesting the daughter.The daughter gives several hints to her mother but she does not catch it.In the end when the preacher had a heart attack and when there was need for a transfusion of blood, the  mother has to reveal the whole story.In the end, the daughter writes a letter to her father and mother offering them forgiveness. A very depressing story but there is light and hope at the end.
Lord, have mercy on me.I am a sinner too.I have not been faithful to you as a priest.I have failed you many times in my life.Now that I am coming physically to the end of my life, I am becoming more aware of my failings.
The Virus is having its terrible impact on the world.The US,Italy and Spain are experiencing tremendous losses.With deep prayer and penance, we can overcome its power.People have to follow the directions and stay at home whatever may be the losses or consequences.Lord have mercy on the world.Forgive our sins.
April 6,Monday
Yesterday was the Palm Sunday.Saw the Cardinal's mass at the Basilica.Said mass privately.Composed a reflection on the Palm Sunday with a copy of one of my old homilies in my blog.I did not do much.today, too , I was feeling tired.Yesterday was the last day of the medicine for the stomach trouble.I feel better today.The bad taste has gone from my mouth.
This morning my reflection was on the response of Jesus to the young man asking for advice with regard to the commandments he had to observe.Jesus told him to love God with all his heart and to love his neighbour.I also have to follow that.Those are two commandments I have to keep for  myself.Love my Lord with the totality of my being and to  have good thoughts about all.No vengeance, no bitterness ,no animosity towards any one.
Lord ,be with me and bless me.Give the grace to follow you with total devotion.Wash me clean of all my sins and failures.Let me have a new start.
April 7,Tuesday
I did not do anything specially today.The morning was more sleepy and sedate.
Called Jogy and fr.Antony.Fr.Antony called back.Sent messages to Prof.Philip and Nandagopal.
I don't have to think about the past.Think about the present and future with hope and confidence.Love the Lord and continue in prayers.The Lord will not abandon me.That is my hope.I have to keep alive that hope.
April 8,Wednesday
Tomorrow is the Holy Thursday. I have to spend my time on the importance of the Eucharist and its healing and forgiving power. Eucharist was Jesus' gift to us. He offers us the opportunity to become one with him by eating his body and drinking his blood.Whoever we are, whatever may be our inner preparedness, we are not kept apart from Jesus.We are called to be part of the banquet.Why? Because through his eternal sacrifice , he has wiped away our sins and their impact on our lives.If our sins  have created division, Eucharist creates union.God's gift is greater than man's malice.What we have done through our sins is overcome by the power of God's love. Lord, help me to understand the significance and majesty of the healing power and forgiveness offered by the Eucharist.
This morning the reflection  was on Lord's prayer at the Mount of Olives and his request to the disciples to be engaged in prayers, Jesus being brought before the High Priest and Peter's denial.In spite of bold proclamations of loyalty , he denied any kind of association with Christ.When the cock crowed, he realized that he had committed the greatest  act of betrayal.He began to cry and sob, expressing his repentance.Lord, as you forgave Peter, forgive my sins and keep me in your love.Bless the world, and stop the spread of the virus that is taking the lives of many and keeping the world in fear and trepidation.
Aril 9,Holy Thursday
Said mass.Distributed communion to the family including Ria.Spoke to the Cardinal briefly.Had the cutting of the Inria Bread and the drinking of the special milk.
April 10,Good Friday
Saw the services of Mar Alencherry and Mar Cleemis.The Malankara prayers were beautiful to listen, although long and repetitive.MABP sermon was long.Although a prepared one but touching many points and was not sharply focused.Mr Cleemis sermon also did not sound well as he might have got tired from the service.
Thank you ,Lord, for giving me the grace to be part of these services.But early morning, participated in the service offered by Mar Tony  Neelankavil including his sermon.He began his sermon with the comment of a prisoner for whom he said the mass, telling him that Jesus suffered like him was very comforting.
April 13,Monday
The Easter was over.Today is the Monday after Easter.Easter, Holy Saturday and Good Friday and Holy Thursday were celebrated at home.It was the same for Christians and Catholics all over the world.Thank you ,Lord, for your blessings.
We have to start a new phase in our spiritual journey.I heard a few words from fthe helper of Fr.Dave asking his listeners to offer all their problems and tensions in a bundle at the foot of the Cross as the Death of Jesus was for liberating each one of us from our burdens.That message was a very comforting and liberating one better than all the other messages that came from the official homilies preached at the masses.He touched the core of the sacrifice of Jesus which is for liberating us.It is only then we can enjoy lasting peace and joy in our heart.
Today I read Ch.5 of Mathew's Gospel. Listened to the words of Jesus on the Beatitudes and for the need to be respectful in dealings with others and also of the serious warning against a lustful way of life.I have to ask the Lord pardon for all my sins of life and for grace to start a new phase in my life.
April 15,Wednesday
Yesterday , Mody declared the lockdown upto May 3rd.The virus is still active and more people are caught in the contagion.Kerala is getting better.There was an article in the Washington Post about the extra precautionary care taken by Kerala.
I have to prepare my self spiritually weel by driving away from my mind all distractions and focussing on God's presence in my life.
Today in the Gospel of Mathew,Ch.6, God speaks of the need to be assured of His love for each one of us and to live without becoming anxious or worried.If the grass is taken care of so much, much more will be God's care for each one of us.Lord, Thank you.I have only to think of life today and orient it towards you.No more thinking about the past and my failures.Today God gives me the opportunity to be attached to Him.That is all what I have to do.
In the news, I have read about the new trend happening in Protestant denominations where they are sharing the pastors as many small parishes find it difficult to support full-time pastors.
April 17,Friday
A couple of days ago it was reported that Fr.Chalangady had passed away.It was AK Varghese who informed about his demise.Fr.Chalangady was a gentle soul, very helpful and compassionate.People loved him for his simplicity.He was an associate at Thathampally and then ministered at the orphanage at Punnapara.Since this is the lockdown phase, very few of the priests attended his funeral.May God give him eternal rest.
I sent an email yesterday to Lou Collector and I got her reply very promptly this morning.She is confined to her room because eof lockdown and meals are being supplied to her everyday.Replied to her on myiphone first and since it  did not go ,I wrote from this computer on my gmail.I was happy to read her reply as I was not sure whether she was healthy and in DC. There are no other acquaintances from St.P's now there known to me.She has mentioned that there is another Fr.George from India staying there.A surprising piece of news!
Today I will spend more time in reading and writing.
Thank you Lord for the time given to me.
In the Gospel of Mathew,Ch.8, I read Jesus healing the leper and curing the centurion's servant.It offers him a chance to praise his faith as he does not want Jesus to make the effort to come over to his house but only to say a word.
Did not do much. No reading too.
Biju came bringing medicines etc.Spoke to Jogy .He got the stimulus payments. I did not see any payment in my a/c.Had a call from Georgekutty. Spoke about Eapen's sickness.He mentioned the presence of the corona among the priests there.Georgekutty mentions that everything is quiet over there.No shops , no sale etc.
Lord, be kind to mankind and destroy the virus that is taking away the lives of many.
I saw a movie on Chrome cast—Grace saves—story of a newly elected Pope moves out of the Palace and movs to villages, working for them.Later returns and makes his public appearance.  Good movie.no sleaziness.
Lord, be with me and give me the grace to be close to you.
April 18,Saturday
Another day for me to thank and praise the Lord.Read Ch. 9 of Mathew where Jesus speaks about his mission of caring for the sinners: I came not to call the righteous but sinners.This gives me a lot of confidence in knowing the mind of Jesus with regard to our sins.We are never outside the ken of his care and mercy.Just because we are sinners or failed on  many occasions to live up to the highest moral standards, we will not be abandoned.He is there ready to offer us another chance and offers forgiveness for our ins.It means that we have to move forward with confidence and hope and do everything that will bring honor and glory to Jesus.
April 19,Sunday.
The 75th Birthday of MABP.There was  an article in the Deepika by the Abp of Trichur on MABP—a biographical account.No celebration at the Mount.Since I am here under the lockdown, I was not involved much in the activities at the Mount.
I saw a movie on St.Augustine which was beautiful.St.Ambrose, Monica etc are represented well.Augustine's fight with Donatist heresy was also well described.
Watched on Youtube from the Ipad which was seen on TV through Chromecast.
Lord, I thank you for the time given to me. I will use it for you.I should not be worried much about any involvement in official programmes.My time for that is over.But I should not waste my time but use it for further reading and writing.Some good will come out of it.Just pray and read.
Mt ch.10---the call of the 12 and the instruction given to them to preach without any fear.If God takes care of the sparrows and other birds of the sky , he would look much more for men with kindness and understanding.

vs.32: So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven.”

April 21,Tuesday
Made a call to Fr.Vincent to know how things are with them and to congratulate them on the arrangements for the celebraton of the birthday of the Cardinal.Last night I watched a movie”The Case of Jesus “ by Lee Strabell.I have oftern seen the book but never felt the urge to buy it.But the movie was well done with the argument that Resurrection of Jesus was not a myth but an historical fact.Lee became a Chrsitian and so his family. The movie concludes with a powerful speech by him asserting the divinity of Jesus.I went to bed at 2 am. So, it was a short night sleep since I woke up around 5 am as I usually do.
April 23
I came to the Mount on April 23 afternoon.Had lunch here.Had a haircut done by Libin.Had the supper with the Cardinal and Fr.Joji—Festal greeting to me too.Made a short speech.Ubi Petrus, ibi Franciscus—by Chesterton.
24th morning at 5 am. Mass with the Cardinal. On 24th,P.C.Cyriac called me and after a bit of chit chat  told me that my contract ends by the end of April. God transforms every occasion for my growth.