Thank you- 19

Thank you-19
Feb.21,Friday
Today is a holiday here because of Siva Ratri and I did not know that.I am here at Xime but will be going to the Mount for lunch. Next Monday is Ash Monday and I may have to stay at the Mount on Sunday evening.
Yesterday,I was at the Mount for supper as there was a farewell dinner for the CMI priests
  Everyone wants "yes" persons.I am not that type. Whatever I got is just by the grace of God. Of course, Archbishop Kavukatt sent me for higher studies and that paved the way for all the leadership positions. Thank you,Lord, for the blessing and I am happy with what I have done. Of course, there were failures and great lapses.I depend on the Lord for his mercy and compassion.
 Abp.Powathil , after all, in spite of all the mental difficulties he had, did give me the appointment
order as the principal. That was enough for me to develop all my talents.
Thank you, Lord. Lift the burden from my heart. I don't want anything. What you gave me is sufficient and more.
Feb.23,Sunday
I am down with diarrhoea as I ate something that was not hot on Friday evening—clam meat—and that upset my stomach. Yesterday, I went to the Mount and had bowel movements several times. Today too. I called Santosh and he told me to take tablets and drink coconut water or lemon-water with salt and a little bit of sugar.I don't see any changes. I had more than five times bowel movements. I hope it will disappear.My Lord is with me and he will take away the burden of sickness.Others are suffering much more. Tomorrow, I will take  Karikin  vellam,Today, I thought of going to the Mount for the Ash Monday ceremony.But I am not going.I will take rest tomorrow and day after.Lord, thank you for your love.
Feb 26,Wednesday
Today is Ash Wednesday.I am still staying at home.I was here on Monday and Tuesday. Yesterday,went to Dr.Puthooran and he examined me and wrote prescriptions.I feel better now even though I have taken the tablets only once.
He went through the medical reports and was satisfied with it.
Lord, thank you for your kindness and mercy.
Fr.Punchayil called yesterday about his brother's death.
Feb.27,Thursday
Thank you Lord for your kindness in saving me from the distressing stomach trouble. Dr.Puthuran's medicine helped me and there is no loose movement.
I had a meeting with Mr.Abraham Kurien and Mr.Sherin, the trainer.It was a cordial meeting.
I have to cooperate with them to make their ventures successful.I am satisfied with the arrangements I am provided with and hence I should not show any lack of cooperation.
I have to deepen my relationship with the Lord.I have to pray hard. There is nothing else I can do. The Lord has saved me from this sickness which really devastated me. I have to use all my time for the Lord.The Lord is my life and strength. Thuruthumaly is one I thought I could share my thoughts with. But he is in heaven. He was in such a situation that there was no possibility of sharing anything with him.
Lord, have mercy on me. Be my guard and protector.Forgive my sins.Pour your mercy over me and cover me with your forgiveness.
Feb.28,Friday
Went to Xime and remained there until morning and left for lunch at the Mount. Met the Cardinal at the lunch.
Febr.28, Saturday.
In today's Gospel-- read about the healing of the paralytic by Jesus.I prayed for Jesus' healing in my life. Today , will spend more time in adoration at the chapel. Saturdays should be special days of prayers.This is a golden chance given by Jesus. It is no more readings but prayers that are needed in my life. Lord, heal me as you healed the paralytic.You forgave his sins. Forgive my sins.
The Cardinal gave a small booklet on wages by the Acton Institute.Will go through it slowly.
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Lord, thank you for your blessings.
March 3,Tuesday
  Made an appointment with Giridhar on Wednesday at 3pm.
Talked with Fr.Joy Pala..,Fr.Muppara,Fr.Tomy Padinjareve..etc.They are doing Ok. I have to use my time well. I am reading a book”From fire by water” by an Iranian who became a Catholic(Sohrab Ahmari). Will also complete the blogs from my old posts of Thank You notes.
I have to spend my time in prayer and reflect on the passages I read from the Bible.Just now I read psalms 59,51,52 where the psalmist seeks for protection against enemies from the Lord. I have to seek protection from my temptations and my failures.I have to depend on the mercy of the Lord.I am so despicable and wretched. Lord, wash me clean from my sins.I am nearing eighty and there is not much time left for me.I have to live here worthy of the Lord. Whatever time I have here should be used to express my love for the Lord.You have given me enough for my life.I have to live in peace and joy and work for the Lord.I need nothing from anybody.I don't need any body's support.Only one person's support is all that is needed.That of my Lord Jesus.I have to improve my talents and knowledge to make people know how loving , forgiving is the Lord. Thank you, Lord, for this grace to deepen my love for you.
March 5,Thursday
Yesterday, participated in the group discussion and the interview for the new candidates.In the afternoon, went to the Giridhar to test my right eye . I was sitting there more than an hour undergoing the tests.Dr.Saikumar examined and said that I would have to fix a date for the surgery. They were ready to do it immediately. I preferred date after April 12th.April 18th is chosen for the surgery. Lord, help me and be with me as I go through the steps needed for the surgery.
I have to do this because I am losing my vision on the right eye.This is part of the ageing process. If I don't do this, then, right  eye will become useless.
I have to cooperate with XIME totally and do everything possible for the success of their different programs.
March 6, Friday
Came to Xime as the Mount is being painted. Last night , I was there in the evening just for the retreat. Left for Ekm at 7.30 after my confession and a short quick supper.
I am at my office here and Biju would be coming late as he would be taking them to Thodupuzha.The AC is not functioning now and they will repair it tomorrow. It is hot and steamy inside.I am thankful to the Lord for the opportunities given to me until now. I have to work for the Lord and keep his name alive and aloud in my life. Now I am getting prepared for the next phase of the surgery.I have to get the medical situation under control.My right eye has almost lost its vision.If I had not done the surgery on the left eye , I would be totally visionless now.
Lord, bless me and keep me under your protection.Why should I seek anybody's protection and consideration now?I have to keep silent and calm , knowing that the Lord is with me.
March 8,Sunday
Yesterday, went to the Mount and I was told that there would be a  party for the retiring Major Seminary Rectors.Stayed there and left around 9.30 pm.Gave a ride to Fr.Ainiyadan to the Abp's house on my way back.It was a small affair but arranged well. They cleaned my room on Saturday while I was there.Today, being Sunday , I stayed at home.Said mass at the monastery.Nothing else was done except reading Babukutty's novel.It has a good way of development.Also watched a movie on Chromecast called Decision—how a grieving mother and son were brought  to the faith and a good understanding of the words of Jesus.
I have just found the port for charging the video camera. I have to write down notes on its use.

It is now at 12 midnight.I thank the Lord for all the graces he had given me. Lord, thank you and I offer this night and sleep to you.Take care of me.
March 10, Tuesday
I am in my room at XIME. Had a long chat with Abraham Kurien. Called Babukutty and told him that his novel was very good. I read it without any boredom in a couple of days.His writing style is simple and at the same time graphic and gripping. Was able to go deep into the lives of the tribals and their culture. The hero of the novel is a Kumar, a pseudo-doctor who learned some lessons in alternative medicine from Calcutta.
Will continue reading the autobiography of Sohrab.Will call SBI tomorrow.Called Jogy this morning and told him that I won't be coming although I wanted to come.
Will send a congratulatory note to Reba.
March 11,Wednesday
At XIME.Nothing extraordinary. Will spend a few hours reading.
March12,Thursday
Francis Chacko's nephew passed away;funeral tomorrow. Started reading “Fire by Water.” The majority of the students left for their homes and a few –about 15—remain here. I have to use the time for reading more on Ethics.
I am not sure whether the Leadership courses could be held this year because of the coronavirus.Schools and colleges in Kerala are closed until March 31st. International travel restrictions are enforced by India until April 15th.
Today in the gospels, I read about the teaching of Jesus on forgiveness.I have to deepen my understanding of forgiveness and practice it. I have to accept that God is also offering me forgiveness. Read a few of the psalms from 105 onwards, praising the Lord for his mercy and compassion.
March 17,Tuesday
Today is St.Patrick's day ---This was a big day when I was at St.Patrick's ,D.C. Now, I think most of the celebrations would be cancelled because o the Corona virus. America has introduced stringent travel restrictions.All over the world, the baneful impact of the virus is felt. All are discouraged from travelling and from being part of a crowd. Last evening I had a severe bout of allergy. This morning, it looks like that it has subsided. Today I would be staying here at EKM because Biju has to take his wife to the hospital. I will work on my scriptural reflections notes.
Today from the Gospel, read the words of Jesus : What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul. I have to think of my eternal salvation.That is the most important thing. I have to live by the words of Jesus—forgiving, repenting and merciful. Jesus should be the focus of my life.
Y
March 19,Thursday
Yesterday afternoon, went to the Mount as the Cardinal wanted to meet me.I met him around 5p.m.
The feast of St.Joseph was celebrated last night and I was there for the dinner.Returned to Ekm after dinner.Johnachan asked me not to go anywhere but to stay at home. I think I should follow the advice.Will do some reading.
The Corona virus is spreading in India and all are asked to be cautious.I too have to take precautions.I won't visit any one or talk to any one .
March 21,Saturday
Staying at home.Bought two shirts through Biju.Allowed him to go.Will meet him on Monday.Sunday is the all India stay at home on account of the Prime Minister.